I feel like a horrible person...but...

[Proudtrout]

I'm aware that this post might get me a bucket load of abuse but just need to vent.

I'm just finding this so difficult! I adore my DS and he only spends one day a week (no overnights) with his father. This has only been happening for the last 6 months or so unsupervised for various reasons.

My son loves it, clearly has a great time and is well looked after. So I'm outwardly supportive and enthusiastic about him coming and going.

Inwardly is a different story. I hate him being away, hate sharing him at all with that side of his family and just feel a huge resentment for the situation. Not helped by comments from his dad like 'maybe if I spend more time with him I could get to love him' (I offered more time - he refused). And 'I rarely think of him'.

It just makes me so sad that I chose to have my son (dad wanted me to have an abortion and became abusive when I wouldn't so I left) and I have to share him with someone who treats him like a pass time.

I logically completely understand my son is entitled to a positive relationship with his dad and definitely facilitate that, but I just hate it and then in turn feel like a horrible person for hating it ☹️

Your not a horrible person. Your human. And furthermore your a great mum because your putting what's best for child before your own feelings x

You are not horrible at all!

I understand completely how you feel. Being a single parent in that situation means that you are the only one who has the strong parental love for your child. Makes it very difficult not to resent the other parent.

My situation is similar and it is tough but your feelings are normal and understandable so don't beat yourself up just focus on being the best mum you can be!

Proudtrout, this sounds like my situation exactly. It's hard and frustrating and I feel a lot of resentment.

My son is 15 months. Ex-partner begged, bullied and blackmailed me to have an abortion. We tried to make it work, but he left when DS was 5 months old. He had little involvement until last month, and now has him one day a week with no overnights.

Like you, I value the time away as it's a rarity, but I hate not knowing a part of his life. I hate that my ex basically gets the good shifts with DS, hands him back for bed, and he can keep his social life whilst I'm alone at the weekends.

I'd never want it the other way round, but it's really difficult

Thanks everyone, nice to know I'm normal 😊. Have just been reading lots of posts where people are coparenting well (or sounds like it!) and it's easy to forget every situation is different.

I guess what I'm realising is I still have a lot of unresolved anger/embarrassment/grief about being a single parent...long old journey this one I suppose x

I totally agree with you.