Being on my own- can I do it?

[lovealookabout]

I hope ok to post here. Have been married 5 years, two DC (3&5). We live in a house we rent. After many many years of questionable monogamy from my OH, not to mention the emotional abuse and occasional violence towards me, I am ready to go it alone. I just can't allow myself to be in this relationship for the sake of financial security.

So the point of my post is to ask how do finances work? What would he need to pay etc. I earn more than him in a professional job, he has a stable job with good income. Is it all CSA calculated and that's it? Just want to make sure I'm going to be able to survive financially and won't end up unable to cope :-(

Hi - I am not as expert as some that I am sure will be along in a minute but just wanted to say good luck - and you will be able to do it xx

Thanks curtains. I am unsure whether I am even entitled to anything: OH claims his contribution works out at £250 per month. Wouldn't even cover half the rent let alone food. Hopefully someone will be able to help :-)

You go through CMS now.. There should be an online calculator if you know his income.

He has to pay a percentage of his income but it depends on how many nights he has children.

You may have to move, dependant upon your income you may be able to claim WTC which will also help with childcare costs. Finding a way to be happy and safe is the priority here.

Thanks for that. I looked on CMS and OH calcs were slightly off and it's a bit more. Moving house wouldn't make a difference, we pay way below market value for a 3 bedroom house so it wouldn't be a saving. Unsure if I qualify for housing benefit as it seems to say "low income" with no specifics of what that is. I'm a professional in the NHS and earn decent money but I also have outgoings like an
IVA, WTC I defiantly don't qualify for.

Hi lovelookabout if you go on the entitled to webpage you'll be able to find out what you can get to help support you. Additionally there is a charity called gingerbread who you can contact and they'll be able to give you all sorts of advice including financial. Give them a call x

Hi took a while to get my maintenance up and sorted. Financially I was in a difficult place. Best advice would be try and get your finances sorted without the payment so if anything stops or is delayed you will always be okay. Pursue the maintenance with your partner, I went through a solicitor and got an agreement between us. It is better as it is a little more than the CSA suggest.
A book I would recommend is "Help I'm a Single Mum" by Lanie Mills. It is full of ideas to organise you financially. I really liked it as I was in a bad place when my partner left emotionally and felt I just needed someone to tell me what to do. This book did that. Hope it all goes well anyway. 😊

Thanks so much, this has been great. I really appreciate that u took time to help me, it's invaluable x