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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Ok, about to become a single parent - help!

2 replies

Beachballsforme · 03/09/2017 21:33

Just this - one DD aged 14 months. Serious issues with DH who is emotionally abusive due to historical problems of his own that he cannot resolve. Passionate but volatile relationship and too many arguments in front of DD. We have agreed DD is getting too old to witness this and we need to split. We moved to his home town 2 years ago, I have some new friends but family over 2 hours away. Good relationship with his parents who we have been open with and MIL is supportive of me and wants to keep in contact and help as much as she can. Sold our house recently anyway so going to split profits and decide what to do independently. Both work part time (I work from home) and share childcare (I do three days and have her the other two weekdays, DH has her one day and she does nursery two days) so agree we will continue like this for time being and try to make a decision re weekends soon.
BUT - what shall I do? How do you transition into being a single parent? I'm scared and feel so sad for my little girl. I'm daunted by the enormity of it all. Feel like the rug has been pulled from under my feet. How do I get over a relationship and do my best for my girl? How do I accept I probably won't now have any other kids (getting a bit old) and she will be my only one? How do you get over losing the person you shared so much with? Help me MN!

OP posts:
73Marie · 04/09/2017 21:43

Oh im sorry to hear things are so tough right now. I don't have much to offer other than to say keep focused on the long run. I think what your doing is right, there's a lot of research around the damage a child can experience living thro arguments, and no matter how hard it is right now...it will get easier for you all in time. Its so brave what you are doing.

Here's how I cope.

  • Routine - this is crucial for us
  • Create special ceremonies like lighting a candle at dinner...or movie night at home on a Friday (maybe a bit young yet!).
  • Budget
  • Emotional support of friends
  • Accept the good things that come with single parenting...like all that quality time with your ltitle one...1 to 1.

Just take one day at a time. There's no rule book on parenting. All kids really need is love and nurturing. Best of luck x

Beachballsforme · 04/09/2017 21:45

Thank you so much xx

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