I hate my exh so much!!!

[megandsoph]

Just having a rant really.

My exh has just taken my daughters to Scotland for the week. I hate everytime he picks them up, which so far has been twice this year. He always manages to make me feel like a crap mum. I packed the the Nitty Gritty comb and conditioner and he said oh so they have nits in a discusted way like it's my fault. Their school is a nightmare for it I use Hedrin every other week and also comb and condition every 3/4 days.

If it wasn't that it would of been the fact there is a spec of dust somewhere in my house. I can't stand the way I speak nicely about him with the children and always reasure them of their dads love although he rings them max twice a month. Didn't even come to see DD1 for her birthday the other sunday and he has the audacity to make me feel shite.

He really does think hes the perfect parent because he spoils them rotton when he does see them. He saw dds for a whole two weeks in 2006 and that was it, until Jan this year.

There is so much other stuff that makes me angry RE the ex but just wanted to let off as theres no one around to talk to in RL and this just makes me so sad. I also miss my babies so much already and want them back here with me.

God I hate this bit when their traveling also I have irrational fears of never seeing them again.

Oh poo am in tears now.

Not sure if any of that will make sense to anyone. Just upset that my girls have gone really. It's only a week, not long.

They'll remember when they are big, they'll remember who looked after them, and who didn't bother to see them, they will be adults just like you are now and will be just as able to see the situation with clear eyes.

And him commenting on nits is just a symptom of how little he knows about children and schools.

Thank Colditz

He does it all the time. He even suggested that I abort this baby (32 weeks PG) when he found I was expecting. I said what right did he have to tell me to kill a baby that was nothing to do with him. He replyed that if it was going to be raised in the same house as his children it had everything to do with him!! I don't know sometimes how I manage to be so pleasant about him to the girls.

We have been seperated for 3 years, in this 3 years he has volentarly been out of the country for a year, in the falklands. I can't comprehend why I parent would do that. He also never rang dd2 on her birthday in October. I wish I could ay somthing to him but he always manages to make me feel like a child.

I would die for my babies. I don't go out I tell them I love them, kiss them and give hundreds of cuddles a day, I make sure they always have clean clothes and although I'm a shite cook I try my dambdest to provide healthy meals, I kiss their poorlys better. Ahhhhhhhhhhh it just makes me so mad!!!!!

Thankyou JU2 You've made me smile.

These kind of men really do make me laugh (when I'm not crying obviously) LOL I just don't get them AT ALL.

Have loads to do this week whilst DDs are away and should be greatful for the break really but It always takes a couple of days to get used to them being away.

he is giving you every reason to reassure yourself that you are doing the right thing by making surte they live with YOU.

My HV said exactally the same thing on Thursday after mentioning Exh having dds. She makes me reel off why i'm a good mum LOL Just need to get tougher with him when he starts I think.

Just had a look at your thread colditz, Wasn't sure what to write but I'm sorry your ex is being a pita also

men who needs them eh! i know you are gonna miss your girls but take time out this week for yourself, you deserve it! you sound like a fab mum! and dont take any shit that your ex deals you!

It's completely unfair. I think people should get the chance to take their children on holiday or on a treat trip only when they have done 5 x as much dross stuff - so 6 hours dealing with child tantrums and washing the children and bed times gets you 1 hour of fun. My ex husband hasn't contacted the oldest 3 for 4 years and manages about 1 -2 hours a week with the other 2 and is just as good as yours at disparaging commetns except he doesn't make them to , doesn't ever speak to me and just emails the children very rarely.

Chacha Thanks I might have some girly treatments this week. Haven't had my hair done for at least 6 months . Also my mum wants me to go to bingo with her tonight hahahahaha bless her!!

Am feeling abit better now, just want to know they have arrived safely.

Xenia Sorry you appear also to have a plank for your ex too

megandsoph did you resolve your moving or not thing with your bf

Zippi thats over with now. He has just got him self a batchular pad with his mate. Calls every other week to see if the baby is ok then just goes on about his nights out with the lads and stuff.

Have told him feel free to come and see your baby when you like not sure if he will. This little one will be ok though and I will make sure she never misses out. Her big sisters are soooo excited about her. And my mum and dad are behaving in the same excited fashion as when I was married and PG with the girls, infact my mother has gone a bit nuts LOL

sorry, ah well onwards and upwards

try and treat yourself this week then and do something you have been putting off for ages

I am getting along well with this baby's paternal nanny and will make sure when possible the baby gets to see her.

That's really nice. I have really tried to keep the children in touch with their father's parents who are lovely.

Thats it. At the end of the day the grandparents shouldn't suffer just because of their sons and it's great if our children can have as many people as possible around who love them.

Ditto what colditz said.

It may not be of any use now, but, when your DDs are older, they will work out for themselves the measure of their father.

QV I hope so One of my biggest fears is, as i'm sure is most parents, is that my children will think I wasn't a good enough mum. My mum stated tonight that this is why I find it so easy to let him make me feel like poo.

She also said tonight what pleasent children I have and as I'm the only person who has been caring for them for the past 4 years I can take all the credit cheered me up no end!!! LOL

Your mum sounds lovely. She's right too. As long as you know that you are doing your very best adn your DDs are happy, then fight these insecurities when he makes a dig. WTF does he know anyway - he hardly ever has them?

Having had this experience I empathise but my children are grown up now and have nothing to do with their father.
They WILL remember the oddest things, not necessarily holidays and 'treats', but things you do regularly together like having their fave meal ready on special occasions etc etc.
Make the most of this time and enjoy the peace and quiet, sending you a hug.

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time of it. Can empathaise, my ex is a shitbag too. Emigrating without so much as a phonecall to ds!! IMO you're doing the right thing to bite your tongue (so difficult), not only are you taking the moral high ground, I'm convinced your dd's will thank you for it one day. Get yourself a punchbag with his photo on it

"Emigrating without so much as a phonecall to ds!!" that is Terrible!! Does he contact your ds at all now?

Am planning on setting a dartboard up with his pic on in my bedroom hehehe but then again if I ever have to wake up and see his face I may puke

Thanks for the hug Earthymama xx

Am feeling much more positive today Thanks fr all of your encoraging words. Very greatful xx

Yep, megandsoph, he's a real catch!! Glad to hear you're feeling better today. A good nights sleep helps. ExH lives 3/4 mile away and see ds roughly twice a year, on the plus side (for me) tho' he doesn't care about ds enough to lecture me about his upbringing unlike yours. Another plus being that at least the ex's parents care enough to see him regularly, which is nice for ds and he has a really good relationship with them. He rarely mentions the ex, so how ds feels about it, I don't know.