Hey all
Ditched STBXH in February for texting another woman sexual stuff and ridiculing me etc. We took turns in staying at the house so the girls (4 and 1) were always in the same place and didn't have to be carted around. When not there, we stayed at our respective parents'.
Ex has always blamed me for everything. I made him feel lonely so he sought attention elsewhere. I never did anything to make him feel better or to repair the issues in our marriage. I never listened to him or took his concerns seriously. Blah blah fucking blah. He's got his stupid fucking ignorant twattish parents on his side, who have clearly mollycoddled him through life and made him think the sun shines out of his arse and he can do no wrong, and they are making things a million times worse.
I took the kids back to my parents with me when I became concerned about STBXH badmouthing me to the eldest. He then took a court order (which I knew he would, and was fine with that) and 'lost' in that the court agreed with my wishes - gradual build up in contact from a day a week to alternate weekends with him until the final hearing in December. This meant that the girls missed a holiday to the Isle of Wight with ex's side of the family (I didn't think it a good idea for them to go as youngest is only just 1 and hadn't seen any of his lot for almost 3 months so it'd not be in her best interests - and court agreed with me).
Today was the first day of renewed contact. STBXH was obviously cold and off with me, which I get and was fine with. But his bloody fucking parents were there when I arrived which was totally inappropriate considering the way they've spoken to me in the past about how everything is my fault because I wouldn't forgive their precious son. They were even hiding down the next road, proving they knew they shouldn't really be there, but obviously couldn't stop themselves for coming out when I got there and having a go.
His mum called me selfish and told me I clearly loved myself more than the children otherwise I wouldn't have kept them form him (honestly, if I loved myself more, I would let them be with him all the time so I could whatever the hell I wanted!!!) and as I was leaving, within earshot of my bright, intelligent 4 year old (well she's 5 next week) his dad says to me either "I hope you cry on the way home" or "I hope you die on the way home". Couldn't quite hear which one it was. I didn't rise to it. I just left.
When I went to pick them up, I took my sister for moral support as I was clearly outnumbered and felt very vulnerable and targeted. Once again they used it as an opportunity to have a go at me. My STBXH's dad told me that anyone who was at the park they had gone to that day would have been able to see that I was a liar (they all think I'm lying about the stuff I heard my ex say to my eldest, including "mummy is being nasty and is causing arguments that I will try to shield you from") and that they could've gone to Isle of Wight because they would have been fine. I told him - couldn't help myself - that clearly a court disagreed and my STBXH couldn't convince them otherwise even with a solicitor, when I represented myself. That shut his stupid fucking face up.
It was STBXH's mum's turn after that - she started going on about how in the CAFCASS safeguarding letter it says that the girls not seeing their dad MIGHT cause psychological harm in the form of abandonment issues (I have always enforced that he loves them and was just working so that was why he couldn't see them). I retort by saying that the letter also said that what he was doing was emotional abuse. I know I should have left it but they make me so angry and I get so frustrated being blamed for something that isn't my fault, and it's not in my nature to not defend myself. I think I did pretty damn well considering!!!
STBXH tells my sister to shut up and get out as she attempts to stop us all arguing in front of the girls and then starts having a go at me saying that I never should have told the girls that he was working. I said to him well, what did you tell them then cos I want to reinforce what you're telling them. His response is "I don't know". Cheers for that mate...
It may not come across this way as I haven't just completely taken everything they've dished out at me - sometimes i should just keep my mouth shut, I know that - but I truly have tried so many times to make things better and amicable. But this is a man who doesn't accept any responsibility for the dick pics and wanking videos he sent to another woman and is determined to fight me from beginning to end. He and his parents clearly think the court made an error in the their judgement and who knows what shit they will put about me and my parenting in the statement we are meant to prepare. I felt physically sick on my way to dropping the kids off and picking them up again and it ruined my entire day.
How long is it going to be a battle like this? I don't know how much more I can take - and it's only the first day! :(