Page 2 | Ex taking me to court, what to expect?

TeddyIsaHe · 2017-08-20T06:28:39+00:00

I've never been through this process before so just wondering if someone could run through it with me. Ex has refused to see dd at all for weeks. When we do arrange contact if I do anything to annoy him prior he will cancel to punish me. I have endless amounts of evidence of his lack of parenting - when she was first born I stayed with family while my house sale went through, after 2 weeks he went back to work and refused to travel the hour to where I was staying to see dd, making me bring a newborn to him. I don't drive so had to get taxis and buses to facilitate this. I had a 2nd degree tear, stitches and was in a lot of pain, but because he didn't like my family he point blank refused. I have never ever stopped him from seeing dd, I've gone out of my way to make sure she sees him. He has never made the effort to organise anything at all. And now he is going to court with it all. I'm more than happy for dd to spend time with him, but I just wondered what the court process would entail?

DIpg · 03/06/2022 19:18

Hi ,
i need some advise .

im starting a new job and my ex says I have to figure it out things , bc I told him he needs to take our son every weekends , he lives 2 hours away from us and I’ve always been very flexible and I’m with my son all the time I know he always tried to be a good dad but now he wants me to “organise “ my life around his schedule because he has to work too and he can’t pick him up every weekend .. and he messaged me saying - if I can’t look after our son , I can’t have a job and now he’s saying if we go to court the judge can’t do nothing because if he works ,I’m the one who has to figure it out where I’m gonna leave my son because the judge won’t ask him to stop working .
also my ex doesn’t want to pay for a childminder, I offer to pay half and he declined.
so he doesn’t want to pay or look after his son .
my question is ,
if we go to court can I request the judge to my Ex to pick up our son every weekends ? As he can’t see him during week bc he works and lives 2h away from us . He decided to move due to job opportunity.
if the judge agrees with me , what my ex can do ?
i understand he works but I have to work to .

GettingItOutThere · 03/06/2022 21:02

DIpg · 03/06/2022 19:18

Hi ,
i need some advise .

im starting a new job and my ex says I have to figure it out things , bc I told him he needs to take our son every weekends , he lives 2 hours away from us and I’ve always been very flexible and I’m with my son all the time I know he always tried to be a good dad but now he wants me to “organise “ my life around his schedule because he has to work too and he can’t pick him up every weekend .. and he messaged me saying - if I can’t look after our son , I can’t have a job and now he’s saying if we go to court the judge can’t do nothing because if he works ,I’m the one who has to figure it out where I’m gonna leave my son because the judge won’t ask him to stop working .
also my ex doesn’t want to pay for a childminder, I offer to pay half and he declined.
so he doesn’t want to pay or look after his son .
my question is ,
if we go to court can I request the judge to my Ex to pick up our son every weekends ? As he can’t see him during week bc he works and lives 2h away from us . He decided to move due to job opportunity.
if the judge agrees with me , what my ex can do ?
i understand he works but I have to work to .

you are best starting a new thread

but fwiw you cant use your ex for childcare, as that is what it seems. Yes you should sort your own childcare out and ideally he should be having evert other weekend and tea mid week.

BeNice01 · 16/06/2022 19:54

DIpg · 03/06/2022 19:18

Hi ,
i need some advise .

im starting a new job and my ex says I have to figure it out things , bc I told him he needs to take our son every weekends , he lives 2 hours away from us and I’ve always been very flexible and I’m with my son all the time I know he always tried to be a good dad but now he wants me to “organise “ my life around his schedule because he has to work too and he can’t pick him up every weekend .. and he messaged me saying - if I can’t look after our son , I can’t have a job and now he’s saying if we go to court the judge can’t do nothing because if he works ,I’m the one who has to figure it out where I’m gonna leave my son because the judge won’t ask him to stop working .
also my ex doesn’t want to pay for a childminder, I offer to pay half and he declined.
so he doesn’t want to pay or look after his son .
my question is ,
if we go to court can I request the judge to my Ex to pick up our son every weekends ? As he can’t see him during week bc he works and lives 2h away from us . He decided to move due to job opportunity.
if the judge agrees with me , what my ex can do ?
i understand he works but I have to work to .

Familycourt can’t force someone to have contact with a child. If the parents love far apart, the judge could order that you meet half way or alternate drop-offs/collections.

It’s a tricky situation and unfortunate that your ex refuse to pay for a childminder. If he maintains this position then you should apply/revise your child maintenance to reflect the additional nights that your son spends with you,