Basically I've stopped my two children (6 and 9) from seeing their dad. This was the final straw after 4 years of conflict since our split.
We were together for years and he was emotionally abusive to me as well as our kids. I fled our rented property 4 years ago but never reported the incident (thought he was going to killl me - never actually hit me but threatened me in front of our children) as was scared.
He was and is a shit dad. He never allowed the kids to be immunised, fed them crap and went ballistic if I ever tried to get the family to eat healthily. Wouldn't take the kids out for fresh air/exercise etc. My eldest is obese!
Since I left, I've lost weight and am fit and healthy, set up a new home, working full time and am in a solid relationship with a wonderful man who has full custody of his child and is a fantastic dad and great role model to my kids. We both agreed neither of us were trying to take the role of mum and dad to each other's kids but we would be a strong family unit and good role models. My kids adore him. We have not moved in together and have no immediate plans to just yet.
My ex on the other hand has made no attempts to improve his life or the quality of our kids life.
They were seeing their dad 50/50 basis. Meaning any healthy lifestyle I was trying to incorporate was undone when they went to his.
Along with my children having access to devices 24/7 with no parental control, being encouraged to swear!, and spending anytime at his inside with absolutely no stimulation or fresh air whatsoever - I'm completely at my wits end.
The problem is, that the kids love their dad (naturally) and feel sorry for him. But, they have told me that they do not want to go back there and are happier and feel safer with me. He shouts at them a lot and emotionally manipulates them. The kids (like I once did) are walking on egg shells at his.
It's been a month since they've not seen their dad, and they've never been happier. My eldest has already lost lots of weight, and they are generally thriving.
The problem is that he is now demanding that he see them. I've told him that if he wants to see them, I'd like him to attend mediation and agree to a parenting plan as well as agree to vaccinations. He refuses.
What do I do now? I've contacted social services (not the first time!) and they referee me to families first. I've noted it with the gp and school. But what are my next steps? Take it to court? Can they impose a parenting plan? (I'm fully aware he will be granted access).
I'm so stressed out it's unreal.
Please advise!
Thank you