Ex engaged

[Louw12345]

So found out last night the ex has got engaged.
I wish them all the best.
However what's annoying me is he hasn't help towards the upbringing of his children since January this year. And the kids have been talking about how he's got loads of money and booking a holiday and didn't help with out childrens holy communion (his faith) and obvs now this.

Anyhow im not said anything about what the kids have said coz life is simple in their eyes.

His gf did the pick up and mentioned money that he will start paying it but I just csa are sorting it. She looked suprised and said how right.
I'm an open book me and say way too much. I did said we have been struggling for months and got uniforms now.

So her reply was Ohh he's thinking about taking the kids out on their each Friday and buying them something big. So it's not alot of exspense all at once.

My reply was he didn't need to spend loads of money on them (younger children ) it's time that is important.

Anyway we spoke about me taking the kids out to the seaside in which her face dropped and when the kids said about there new activity there have started (horse riding) she didn't seem to be excited. If anything I felt she not happy.

Do you think they enjoy the fact that they know I struggle? Every time I see her she brings money up he will do this that and the other and we have argued in the past coz of it.

Anyway I'm not going to get stressed out coz I been strating to see things clearer for a while.

And not stressed especially since going through CMO and having no communication with hI'm. His choice.

But I am wondering now there are engaged does this mean I will have to communicate with her regarding our kids?

I'm struggling to understand your post fully (sorry) but from what I gather you have been communicating with her a lot re: the children, which of course you don't have to do!

I would just shut down any and all conversation politely and firmly, and just allow the CSA to deal with it. They're pretty useless in chasing people up, however.

If he wants to take them out and buy them things let him, as long as it doesn't impact his maintenance payments.

You dont have to communicate with her at all. She is not the parent.
Dont get me wrong if you can it does make life easier but you dont have to.

Do not discuss money with her she may not being giving you the whole truth anyway.
Let CMS sort it out.
I know its difficult when you are the one struggling but its nit wirth your head space. Arsehole fathers will always be arsehole regardless of what you try and do.

I struggled to understand my post to haha.
However this post is more from one day.

It's like she forces it on me. She will text me regarding the kids etc. Iv tried to stop it coz they don't communicate so when something is planned it falls through anyway. And then I'm pissed off. So i wouldn't mind communicating through if the plans where followed through.

However, it's gone back to him getting intouch with the older child to plan things (do its her asking me) which I have said not to do as last time she ended up having panic attacks.

Yes I suppose so it's good that he wants to buy stuff etc but nothing that really helps ie uniforms (5kids).
It just makes me said that I can't provide the basics (no gas) coz it's the holidays and have to buy more food in etc. (Luckily it's his weekend )

I ring csa alot and note down what is said. I should have an update on atachment of earnings next week. Case opened in Feb

I think I'm just probably more annoyed that he hasn't helped with CMS (mainly due to her saying they won't be paying anything of they don't see the kids). (Big argument over christmas I was in the wrong I know but during that time I used to have to text to see of he was having kids or not so stopped doing that then a month later he got intouch).

You did nothing wrong by not chasing him to see his own dc! So no, you weren't in the wrong.

She is way, way too involved. Seems determined to paint him as a good guy?

Just keep doing what you're doing, chasing CMS and ignoring anything that's not vital communication.

Ideally, you'd all get on great, but he is the reason you're not because he won't pay to feed and clothe his children.

If I were you, I'd ignore her texts.

Yes she is very involved which makes me wonder why as such. my ex and I can communicate as we have done in the past but we don't now or he won't.

I'm unsure how he would feel making plans etc through my partner, I feel he would not like this one bit.

We have also come back from holiday and the girls would of been so excited to tell them about it but it's pushed to one side with their news which is very sad for the kids.

Tbh she didn't like it when I said iv said he should take said child on her to rebuild the relationship (his partner tried to mother her and in doing so she laid her hands on her to stop her from leaving the house, last year). They have made it like it's there idea to do such a thing.
She thinks because my daughter has since spoken to her they are fine but in all honesty it's coz she wanted her bday present.

Yes I will continue to be the best mum I can I have loads of support and my children are happy.

We have a family support worker (due to childs behaviour my referal ) who has suggested the lose involvement of a soical worker in order to hAve a family meeting ans try to get us on the same page for the childrens sake