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Contact at a contact centre

3 replies

Rvrob22 · 24/07/2017 14:43

Hi there,

My ex-husband and I broke up when my son was 3 weeks old after he was emotionally and financially very controlling and psychologically abusive. He made a number of threats regarding taking my son and this combined with his complete lack of wanting or understanding in caring for our son's needs has meant that I no have a prohibited steps order stopping him taking DS from the country or my care, there was also a contact arrangement in place which said that my ex could see his son for 2 hours per week (all that he asked for) supervised by my parents.

At the last court hearing my ex said he no longer wanted this visitation to be supervised by my parents and wanted to go to a contact centre. CAFCASS said that this wasn't in my son's best interest as it is so far for me to travel to get to a contact centre that could have the appropriate level of supervision. The visitation/contact order was then revoked and my ex has no rights to see my son unless I agree to it (until late September when we have our next court hearing).

My ex has now not seen our son for 5 weeks (DS is only 7.5 months and he has missed so much!!!) But has put in a request to a contact centre which is 30 mins drive away and will cost me at least the £7 child maintenance that I currently received from my ex. My solicitor has said that she thinks I should agree to weekly visits at the contact centre, so that the court will look favourably at me, but I am wondering what to do.

It is such a massive hassle for me to take my son to the contact centre and he is so young, and it will be a different environment with people he doesn't know and a father he hasn't seen in months. But then I do appreciate he should have a relationship with his father. On the other hand, the courts have said I don't have to agree to any contact and cafcass have said it's not in DS's interest to travel. I'm just a bit annoyed as my ex could've seen DS 1/2 times per week but refused as it would be supervised by my parents.

Do you think I have to agree to the contact centre? And if I didn't agree, do you think the courts would look badly upon me???

The next court date is so that cafcass can produce a report into whether my ex is capable of caring for our son unsupervised and whether the threat of him taking or harming our son is a real one.

Opinions please??

OP posts:
Whoknows11 · 24/07/2017 16:43

In all honesty do what you feel is right for you and your son. You are his number 1 carer and can only accommodate your ex to a certain level. Good luck x

Shell3210 · 23/03/2021 12:38

Hi would love to hear how you got on with CAfcass and the court case. Ive been through similar with my ex and I’ve also been told by my solicitor to facilitate weekly visits and am waiting cafcass to contact me regarding court hearing soon....any advice would be great

Starlightstarbright1 · 26/03/2021 08:23

I would’ve wary of going to contact centre if judge and Cafcass say no.

You are agreeing to something so then to go back to court you can’t then say I don’t want this.

Instead I would say the option for contact with my parents remains open to you. It will go unfavourably for him not to see his dc.

I would discuss this with solicitor.

The cost won’t matter to the courts nor his basic cms payments

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