Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Ex is getting to me

2 replies

user1487175389 · 01/07/2017 11:54

Background is that he was physically, emotionally and sexually abusive towards me. When we split I didn't want him to have unsupervised contact with the children, but sadly I wasn't believed by any of the professionals I appealed to for help, and I learned that justice is what you can afford to pay for in this country. (my solicitor was beyond useless but happily took my borrowed money anyway). Police said the 6 month period for investigation was nearly up so took no action.

So I have learned to accept the way things are. Recently though, he's encroaching on the life I've tried to build for myself and the dcs and it's making me uncomfortable.

His girlfriend, who the dcs hardly ever see in their fortnightly visits, has suddenly started attending the dcs school performances, and I'm expected to avoid the ones she goes to - for some reason.

He has started to ingratiate himself with the parents of the dcs friends, so much so that he's weeded his way into being invited onto their family holiday. They know nothing about his behaviour towards me. Part of me feels like saying something - and part of me thinks there's no point, as no-one ever believes me.

He's also trying to take over with our dds speech therapy, which I have to do daily with her in conjunction with weekly sessions with SALT. At the moment he drops her round for 15 mins on the days he has he, but after many months he's now saying he should be able to do the therapy himself given his professional qualifications.

When we started speech therapy it was explained that it had to be one parent consistently applying the same technique for it to work. And for two parents to work together on this they'd have to attend a training session together and be able to work constructively and consistently with dd when apart. Obviously I didn't feel we fell into this category and he didn't attend the training session as I knew he'd create a hostile atmosphere unconducive to helping dds stammer. Now he's demanding everything has to change.

Im really concerned all the above could mean he's about to try and go for 50/50 care of the dcs. I hate that he still has the ability to put the shits up me after 3.5 years apart.

OP posts:
user1487175389 · 01/07/2017 12:42

Anyone there? I feel like mumsnet is less a place people come for advice nowadays. Maybe I need to move with the times m.

OP posts:
Starlight2345 · 01/07/2017 17:17

A few things...You cannot stop her attending but you have every right to be there..Do not let him intimidate you. Do you have any good friends at school? Buddy up with them at these events.. How do you know you are expected to avoid these events because my answer would be if she is uncomfortable then she should not attend.

Also it sounds like you are having too many conversations with him... Don't bother responding to his demands. Do turn up to every event ( if you can)

PArt of what he is doing is playing the game...Don't play in his game don't respond. Don't let him know he has bothered you. The way my ex gave up was simply not been interested..Refusing any abusive contact and him having no power what so ever,

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread