Advice needed please!

[123bem321]

Right, I'll apologise now for the long winded message!
My kids dad moved down south 3 and a half months ago. Hasn't been to see them since he moved due to "money." Obviously not happy about this because my 3 year old and 1 year old will not know who is is by the time he does come to visit. I've said to him he sees them once a month or not at all because they deserve some routine in their lives! Well anyway, he got arrested at the weekend for fighting with his mum, now I definitely don't want him to be near the kids! Do I have a leg to stand on or not? I've not spoken to him since I found this out so don't know if he's been charged, cautioned or whatever but can someone please give me some advice please! Thank you in advance!

I would just not contact him and hope that he doesn't contact you either.

If he took the legal route he'd get to see the kids (I'm assuming that she's not injured and in hospital or something and assuming that the charges stick and not dropped) but he sounds lazy/lacking motivation to see them which could work in your favour.

I agree.Do nothing to encourage contact at all.

I spoke to sols ( it was about 7 years ago so could be out of date)

I felt contact should be stopped for various reasons. I was advised to say nothing till he wanted to reinstate contact. The longer the absence the better.

Thank you both for your replies 😊 It's so hard to know what's to do but as long as my babies are happy that's all that matters in the end!

My Ex was never really interested in my DS. The only reason he ever had contact was to control me. I was and still am of the opinion that if he was going to stop contact sooner rather than later .He is now 10 and I he knows he was too young to have done anything. I also think he is used to the way things are.

I know that "My ex keeps the kids away from me" is a popular lie with deadbeats and you don't want him to say that about you. You aren't preventing contact so if he starts saying that don't feel bad. You could say that "nagging" him about seeing the kids will discourage contact because he's determined to do the opposite as you've requested. He knows how to contact you so just leave things in his court.

Disclaimer before I'm flamed: I know that some women obstruct contact with good dads. I'm using deadbeat in this case as he's seemingly violent and not bothered about the kids' welfare.