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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

They have stopped xp's benefits..............am so pleased

19 replies

NuttyMuffins · 17/03/2007 21:57

Xp had to have a medical and apparently he didn't score highly enough and so they have stopped his incapacity benefit.

He does have a bad back and knees but it does not stop him working so I am so pleased about this as now he is going to have to claim jobseekers and actually prove he is looking for work.

I know him working won't make a difference to me financially but I am hoping it will mean he can take the kids out once a week at least and give me a break from it all.

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expatinscotland · 17/03/2007 21:57

Good!

I'm glad to hear it.

He was abusing the system and that makes it harder for everyone else who has a legitimate claim.

moondog · 17/03/2007 21:59

Yes good Boo hiss to scroungers.
Why would it mean he would come to take the kids out though?
Does he do nothing at present?

Some of these blokes want bloody shooting.

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 17/03/2007 22:00

Exactly

His family have told him to appeal. I have told him to grow up, claim job seekers and then actually look for a job, but tbh I won't hold my breath.

I rang him about a job the other week, and he didn't chase it up even though he had lots of experiance, the pay was quite good and he'd have been given transport too, but even that didn't make him do it.

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Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 17/03/2007 22:01

Well if he had more money i am hoping he will take them out yep.

At present he contributes nothing and that includes time. He saw them on thursday this week for about 2 hours here at my house and previously to that it had been over 3 weeks since he had seen them.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 17/03/2007 22:02

He's a waste of space, he really is.

Incapacity is one of the most abused benefits around.

SIL's lousy lazy ex P has been on it for decades. He's apparently 'depressed'.

But he was never too depressed to sell cannabis.

Hope his days on it are numbered.

moondog · 17/03/2007 22:04

I'd shop them.

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 17/03/2007 22:05

He definatly is expat.

It's amazing now how he can only be in the house for 5 minutes and he manages to remind me of all the reasons i kicked him out

He started moaning about something on Thursday and i said 'shut up, don't moan in my house', his face was a picture.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 17/03/2007 22:06

SIL's ex has never worked in his entire adult life and he's now in his forties.

It so pisses me OFF because he's able-bodied.

He's lazy and a scrounger and a shite example to his kids.

moondog · 17/03/2007 22:07

Aren't people bored when they don't work??

What do they do all day?

I don't get it.

expatinscotland · 17/03/2007 22:08

Oh, moony, SILs ex is very busy - smoking cannabis, getting on buses to go to wherever he needs to sell people cannabis, vegging in the front of the TV whilst stoned, and sleeping.

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 17/03/2007 22:09

That is the thing I find hardest to figure out expat. I hate being such a shite example to my kids and there these men are, able bodied as you say, can do any hours that they are offered etc but yet they cannot be arsed, it stinks.

Xp has worked since he was 15 but now seems to think that he is entitled to a break at everyone elses expense.

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Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 17/03/2007 22:10

I often wonder that Moondog. Xp lives in a bedsit and as far as I know, he gets up every day and goes and gets his paper and a bit of shopping and then sits in his room and watches tv. That would drive me frigging nuts.

OP posts:

moondog · 17/03/2007 22:12

Drug dealing.It's sooo bloody sleazy and depressing. Time consuming too.

Life in a bedsit in your 40s.Dear God.....

expatinscotland · 17/03/2007 22:12

SIL put up with him whilst she went to college to train as a hairdresser after her younger child started school.

Then, once she qualified, she ditched his lazy arse.

She was soooo sick of never having money to drive, take a caravan holiday, go for a day out w/the boys and get them an ice cream, just little things like that.

She works a lot at weekends now, but she has enough time off when they're not in school and during school holidays to enjoy her new life w/o that lazy sod, and the boys are so proud of her.

He's still up to the same shit.

She was only 17 when she met him and he was about 15 years older and she thought he was sooo cool.

Not anymore!

expatinscotland · 17/03/2007 22:13

Plus, we get to spend more time with the boys, who live about half a mile away, and they're very protective of their wee cousins (the DDs) and never let anyone mess with them.

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 17/03/2007 22:16

Aww thats nice expat

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expatinscotland · 17/03/2007 22:20

It was really hard going for her for years whilst she was in college, but she's only 27 now - well, she'll be 28 next month - and she's really changed things for herself, so it CAN BE DONE!

She had her first at 18 and her second just 14 months later, and though she was a young mum and on benefits for a while, she's glad she had hers young.

When she's my age, 36, she'll not have childcare worries!

And he'll probably be the same loser he always was.

Original poster

NuttyMuffins · 17/03/2007 22:22

Good for her Expat, she is an inspiration

Hope i can follow that example one day.

Xp though will probbaly end up like her ex. I don't think he will ever work again tbh.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 17/03/2007 22:25

Best just to assume he won't, NM.

He's probably just another version of her ex partner: a LOSER.

Even his own kids think he's a loser because he never worked and they couldn't afford to do stuff like football club and judo lessons or caravan weekends in Oban whilst she was with him.

Maybe one day she'll meet someone else, but she's pretty happy being single and calling her own shots.

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