Would it be possible?

[pinkpixie83]

To essentially box myself up and just be mum.

I'm so lost a lot of the time, when the kids aren't here I don't know who I am. I have few friends and the dating game doesn't seem to be going well.

Would I be better off to just shelf the idea of me being a person and finding anything for myself until the children are older and less dependent on me?

Well you could look at it another way. Just concentrate on your children for a few years, see how it goes and then when things are settled and easier, start building up your life again.

I think you've got to be realistic.

I found it too stressful trying to have a social life outside the dc and put things on hold for a while and if you accept it with no resentment I think it's a good idea.

My mil has done this. She seems happy enough if dating is just making you miserable don't do it. Find a few hobbies get some really decent gfs honestly so much better than a man child.

This way, deep unhappiness lies. You're not just mum. You're a person. With fears and hopes and wishes and dreams of your own. Maybe pick one thing or hobby to be interested in and start there?

Don't box yourself off.

I don't feel like a person currently tho I'm just this lost thing watching from the outside or that's how I feel most of the time

Have you thought about getting some counselling? Or talking to someone about this?

Have you had a look at meetup.com? They have local groups going on with a range of hobbies etc. Probably depends where you are exactly but near me there is always something on.

I've been to book clubs, dinner groups, bowling, cocktails, board game nights, cookery nights. So many things going on and I've met some really lovely people. The thing I love about it is that they nothing about me and my kids so I really get to be 'me'