I Can't keep on going like this

[lyssie29]

Hi my daughter's dad died in 2016. My daughters are 4 and 19 months. I try to get them out as much as possible and I take them to groups and for wlaks/park etc. My 4 year old though is just constantly wanting me to play with her and keeps going in a strop. Today for example we were all up at 6.30 and it's now 11.30. I've been playing with them all morning quickly doing housework in between. I've say sat down for 5 minutes and she's in my demanding i play with her. What can I do? She's difficult sometimes as she has lots of energy and can get very hyper just like alot of 4 year olds. It's just the strops and constantly wanting me to play. I end up feeling bad for not playing with her but i need to get stuff done. Do i just need to man up and leave her to it?

I think so, yes. I'm in a similar situation, husband died a year ago and I have a nearly 4 year old son. I'm finding the more I set out munch boundaries the easier I find it not to get overwhelmed by him.

E.g. I play with him for a bit, but then I'll say to him that I can't play with him now because I need to do X - even if that's sit down with a cuppa! I explain to him that I need a rest/need to tidy up/need to make a meal and he will have to wait.

I imagine with 2 you have a harder job.

I'm going to Widowed & Young's big picnic weekend tomorrow, just joined them and hoping to meet others in a similar situation as it's pretty isolating - very different to having an ex-partner around. Might be worth looking into?

'Munch' should have been 'my'!

I'm a lone parent and my dd is now 8. The 1-1 attention they demand can be draining but yes set some boundaries but also I found a tablet with basic maths etc a good respite at that age

Thanks ladies. I'm going to set some times for myself to get work done and try and play first then work then play. Might put them off a bit.

@Heroicallylost I have also joined WAY not long after he died however I haven't been to any meet ups yet as I don't drive and the meet ups closest to me are unfortunately still to far for me to go. Hopefully one day there'll be one closer.

Visual timetables can work well at this age.

Also Sometimes depending on child get them to "help you " can you put the washing in the washing machine..It takes longer but still easier than doing it with Muuuuuuuuuuuuum Muuuuuuuuuuuuum.

Give them a cloth to wipe they love it. Kids brooms. I will cut the potatoes can you put them in the pan , counting games.

I am LP with no dad involved , just because he is a waste of space but have done the juggling thing too.My DS is 10 and really lets me get on with it him because if he doesn't I give him jobs.

I also had a close friend Die who had a DS the same age as my DS when he was 4.. He spent the whole Christmas following me around , sat in the hall if I made a cup of tea followed me to kitchen. Struggled to be apart. After he went back to school he relaxed a lot. I think sometimes the routine was what really helped.