Can't win- blasted if you go to work, blasted if you don't

[CS1753]

How many of you , and I suppose this is also true of mums in a partnership, are sick and tired of people judging you for being a parent (let alone a lone parent) that works. Speaking from experience I am judged (by the government, people where I live etc) that because I work I am a bad mother not spending enough time with my son. If I didn't work (and jolly well could) and claimed benefits I would be seen as sponging off the taxpayers. By not staying married to an idiot I have potentially caused my son to grow up with behavioural problems (so say the tories)! I am so sick of this country and it's attitude to lone parents and working mums - if you are a good parent it doesn't matter!! Sorry had to get this off my chest - anyone else think like this?

your fucked either way - do whats best for you - when they are 14 - they will hate you no matter what you chose.

When my older 2 were little and I worked fulltime I felt permanently guilty and was certainly made to feel a "bad mother". With my youngest 2 I'm a SAHM, still feel permanently guilty (I'm too lazy to get a job, am a bad role model etc) and I don't actually think I'm a better mother - except of course I can make it to all the school concerts, help in class each week etc., so people assume I'm a good mother. It's rubbish! Custardo speaks the truth - by 14 (younger if girls) they all hate you anyway

Glad it's not just me!

didn't David Cameron say that in his opinion the where there was damage done to children in single parent families, it was very often due to the behaviour of the father not the mother?

Agree though, damned if you do damned if you don't.

I have a friend who is constantly making digs about me working. I work 4 days as a cm. She thinks my ds is missing out because for half the week he has to share me with 2 other children and it only actually equates to 10hrs a week by the time he comes out of school!!

You do what you feel works for you and your family and sod what anyone else thinks.

I've long since adjusted to the fact that i am personally responsible for all of societys ills because i am a single parent with three primary aged children and i work full time. really i now couldn't give a flying shit what anyone else thinks, i know that i am doing the very best for my children by working hard in a job i hate so that they appreciate a work ethic. For other people, staying at home until they start school or whatever works - there isn't a magic forumla. all families are NOT the same and different things work for different families.

I am a single mum of one and have worked on and off and gone back into an education and got a levels and a degree since my son has been 2. He's ten now. I work very hard and when I couldnt find a job that would fit in with my responsibilities and experience I went into business on my own. Yet I work from home so am considered to not be working at all!

My mum decided to warn me last week that they will be making mothers come off benefits and go to work when their children reach the age of twelve. I had to remind her that I am working 60 hour weeks to get my business off the ground, not just sat at my computer browsing sites!!!

I dont think you can win either way. I feel guilty for not spending more time with my child but by the same token I need to install a work ethic in him so that he doesn't grow up not wanting to work!