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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Kids in the street

14 replies

lyssie29 · 07/05/2017 19:03

My daughter is 4. The kids in our street are all older than her and they play out until it gets dark basically. She has a bedtime of 7.30 which i think is reasonable. However they keep knocking on my door asking if she can play out with them sometimes at 7pm. Because she's so little I dont want her to play out on her own anyway but she keeps getting upset about it. How can i get her to understand? I'm not being too strict am I? I mean shes literally only just turned 4 at the end of March. I'm feeling really overwhelmed at the minute with looking after 2 kids 4 and 18 months and I'm probably overthinking it but because she gets so sad about it I feel bad.

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ShizerMinelli · 07/05/2017 19:33

There's no way I'd let my 4 year old play out in the street! Unless you are sat out watching them at all times. You ANBU.

ShizerMinelli · 07/05/2017 19:34

Just realised this isn't AIBU.

Also re read your post. She's just turned 4. No debate, you say no, it's a no.

She's only 4, the kids are older. She isn't allowed to play out with them.

Original poster

lyssie29 · 07/05/2017 19:45

Thats what I've been saying to her thank you. Just needed some reassure I'm not being silly about it. Glad im doing the right thing then.

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redrobinblue · 07/05/2017 21:55

It's so hard to judge it sometimes when you've got no one to bounce ideas off. I'd definitely agree with you though!

Ricecrispies16 · 07/05/2017 22:03

My little one will be 4 soon and there is no way on earth I'd allow her to play on the front unsupervised. Perhaps allow her to invite her friends into your garden to play?

Starlight2345 · 07/05/2017 22:13

A no here too. MY Ds was about 7 before he was allowed to play out on the street.Took till 10 to be allowed to local park..Lots of factors involved though.We live on a cul de sac. How rural, Would be playing alone. How sensible? but still at 4 its a no.

Original poster

lyssie29 · 08/05/2017 06:44

Thanks everyone. We live in a council estate where all the gardens are open for some reason there's fences but no gates. We just moved here and I never had this before as we had a back garden. It's right next to a busy public footpath too. Luckily no road. She's a clever girl and she will stay in the garden if i tell her to but I still think too young.

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summerlovinggirl · 08/05/2017 08:13

As a compromise, and allow your DD to start making friends, could you maybe let her play with the children for an hour and sit down (outside) with a cuppa watching her.
That way, you're there to make sure she's ok, you then can see how the other kids play as well as having a bit of fresh air and a cuppa yourself.
It is hard, but I wouldn't let her play out on her own, she's far too young.
I know when my DS was 5, I used to put him to bed at 7 and he could hear the kids next door but one still outside playing in their garden. He used to get really upset that they were out playing (the girl was his age with older siblings) whilst he was in bed. It's difficult for them but you know what's right for your child, so stick with your gut reaction.

Nikitasol · 21/05/2017 22:33

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Nikitasol · 21/05/2017 22:40

Also just cos other parents let their kids play out doesn't mean you have to. Mine goes to bed at 7pm. Other kids 4-9 out until 9pm.

Funnyfarmer · 21/05/2017 22:40

I had the same thing when my dd was younger. Can you have a word with the parents and ask them to ask there dcs not to knock on after a certain time?

NC1nightstand · 21/05/2017 22:51

Yeah she's too young in my book also OP. Some good ideas on this thread though. When we first moved here I was very nervous to let my dcs play out because that just didn't happen at our old place. But it's a cul de sac and lots of children the same age and it's really li vely in this day and age that they can play out and it's easy to keep an eye out for them.

Original poster

lyssie29 · 22/05/2017 06:53

Thanks. I've been letting her go out to play with them but I'm going out too and I've told them they're just to play in the garden. I told one of the 8 year olds my daughter goes to bed at half 7 so she doesn't play out then but didn't seem to know when that was as she proceeded to say that was early but then said her bedtime was 7pm.

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Funnyfarmer · 22/05/2017 09:29

With my dd. All the the girls was 4 years older and was all only children and from sp homes. It was like my dd had 4 big sisters.
I also got my myself 4 new child minders in there parents, and they gained another one in me. Loved that little street.
These girls was great. Taught her to ride her bike. Looked out for her in school and when she started high school. Held her had through social media and boys and make up. Of course they wasn't always nice to her. But it taught her to stick up for herself.
My dd is 16 now and the girls are 19. We don't live on that street anymore. We moved when dd was 12.
One of girls has just said she might be able to get her a job.
Another has offered her driving lessons next year and the other is house/dog sitting for us when we go away in the summer. So don't worry about her playing with older girls.

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