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Original poster

I'm distraught

36 replies

HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 00:01

Can anyone advise. My ex has refused to bring the kids home tonight. Knowing I couldn't pick thwm up. He's now stating it's my responsibility to get them to school. I'm sat here crying

OP posts:
Disappointednomore · 05/05/2017 00:10

That's awful and must be hard for you. As their parent he is equally responsible. Try to get some sleep and tomorrow let the school know that the kids were with their father overnight.

GretchenFranklin · 05/05/2017 00:13

Yes, he is their parent, he can take them to school.

ZilphasHatpin · 05/05/2017 00:17

How on earth can he expect you to get them to school?

You need to ring the school in the morning and check your DCs have been dropped off.

Ditsy1980 · 05/05/2017 00:22

Oh poor you Flowers

They are with him overnight and so are his responsibility to get to school. I'd just leave him to it for now, ring the school in morning and make sure they've arrived, let school know they were with him so any issues they need to raise with him.

Has he done this before? Has something changed this week? You might need to seek legal advice tomorrow.

Try to get some rest tonight.

user1491572121 · 05/05/2017 00:26

Phone the school first thing and explain. Tell them the children are at their Father's and he has said he's not bringing them in. Then put it into writing and email it to them too.

That will protect you if he makes a habit of it. It's HIS job to take them.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 00:33

I've already emailed them. I need to go into work early just in case anything g kicks off. They don't have uniform both of thwm will be distraught. But it a my fault apparently because it isn't his designated time with the kids. I've told him for a considerable amount of time I was unable to collect the. He's done the transport for 5 years and has suddenly decided he won't do it anymore

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user1491572121 · 05/05/2017 00:49

How far away from you does he live?

user1491572121 · 05/05/2017 00:50

And do you have a car?

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 01:33

8 miles and yes as does he

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user1491572121 · 05/05/2017 01:39

Is he expecting you to drop them at his and then get them back? Or does he want you to collect them after his contact?

I would be tempted to just collect them regularly if he's going to pull stunts like this.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 01:44

I can't collect thwm due to my work . I work late on the nights he has them for tea and I have done for 5 years. Making my contracted time up at this time.
A year ago he threatened to put them in weekend childcare with a childminder my children wouldn't know. I was going away. I cancelled my weekend . I lost alot of money. However my children were happy. After 5 years he's changed his mind regarding bringing the children home. He seems to know me better than anyone . Stating my working hours etc. I'm still awake. I feel sick.

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Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 01:46

He was me to collect them. I physically can not get over the other side of town during rush hour to get my boy home on time to an activity in the hour I have

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Disappointednomore · 05/05/2017 01:51

He is playing you horribly I'm afraid. Do you have reason to think your children are not safe with him?

user1491572121 · 05/05/2017 01:52

OP, if I have this right, your son has an activity and then he goes to his Dad's with his sibling? Then your ex is meant to bring them home to you?

I would honestly stop the activity, have a childminder collect them from school....then pick them up from the CM yourself. Your ex is trying to upset you and being deliberately obstructive.

Make him not necassary.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 01:53

No my son has an activity after contact. It's not scheduled during contact. My ex point blankly refuses to taking the.kids ro anything g during his contact.

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Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 01:55

They are not in physical danger. But I worry how he is playing thwm emotionally. The email I have received has just more or less threatened me with court. I'm a good mum. I'd die for my kids. I've been crying since 6pm when they were supposed to be home

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user1491572121 · 05/05/2017 01:55

Right now OP, I would plan this....if you don't have work in the morning, get up very early, drive down there with their uniforms and take them to school yourself.

Then stop your ex having them on any school night OR make it work so that you pick them up. It might be very awkward but if you have a car, you could do it....after work. I know you should not have to if he was reasonably but he doesn't sound reasonable.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 01:58

He's done the logistics for 5 years and is essentially asking me reduce hours . Meaning less money. Meaning I can't afford my morgage , meaning the one kids won't have a home. I need the oleo work late on these days.

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Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 01:59

I've even offered extra time with thw kids. As he was moaning he wanted that. Then when I did I was doing it for self gratification and more time alone . Fml

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user1491572121 · 05/05/2017 02:03

Take it one day at a time OP....what about tomorrow? Are you working? If so, what time?

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 02:04

Yes I have a project I need to finish for an urgent meeting. I can go in and sort that dropping uniform at my mums on the way. I'll take some with me if need be.

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OlennasWimple · 05/05/2017 02:13

OK, one step at a time

How can you make tomorrow work in practical terms to get them to school with uniform and any other kit that they need?

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 02:17

I have put two lots of uniform in a bag. My freind has said she will take some I'm. But mum can drop it in as well. Getting the kids is another story

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OlennasWimple · 05/05/2017 02:30

Excellent.

What are options for getting them to school? The first one being telling ex that he has the kids, it's his responsibility to get them to school: you know that, he knows that.

Original poster
HowamIgoingtocope · 05/05/2017 02:36

Told him that. He can't get down here due to work. He's self employed. Funny that.
He's said he only has the kids as I refused to pick them up . Told him weeks ago for weeks that I couldn't. He expected me to say yes it's fine. I've said no and he doesn't like it . He can drop them at my childminders before half 8 she will take them. I'll get my mum to drop uniform there. Either way they will have everything g but shoes . Other option I go into work finish the project then leave and get them take yhem to school and come back to work. I'm in till thw afternoon as my dd has an appointment

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