mid-week visits what do you do?

[nikkie]

My xh usually visits the kids at mine 2 nights a week.
I am getting fed up with rushing round sorting tea, school stuff and housework whist he 'plays' with the kids being too loud and messy (its like having 5 extra kids)

He lives 20 miles away and doesn't drive but works quite near my house hence visiting here after work .He wouldn't have enough time to take them to his house and then back again for bed.

I try sending him to the park but when its bad weather obviously can't and kis have tea at 5-5.30 ish anyway so they only get 30-40 mins.

Any other suggestions?

could you go out and leave him to it? Is there anything you could do for at least one of the evenings?

I have to make tea and get stuff ready for schoole etc though

couldn't he do it?

It must be difficult having him under your feet. Are you on good terms? Could you just tell him he's in your way and to make himself useful or to take them out?

I seem to have to tell hime what to do/where to go [grr]
Cooking tea- he could but it wuld involve him making more mess in my kitchen and him rooting in the cupboards!

We get on Ok I just get fed up of seeing him!

oh god, poor you.

Bloody useless, aren't they?

maybe just lock yourself in your bedroom/bathroom with a large drink then?

on second thoughts - can you imagine the mess when you came out?

sorry, no useful advice really!!

does he have them on weekends too?

Mine has DS at my house one afternoon a week (I go out ) and one morning before work, just for an hour - he gives DS breakfast, dresses him etc and yes, he makes a huge mess and a lot of noise, but it does mean I can have one peaceful shower with out DS running in and out of the room shouting "mamamamamamaaaa" and throwing various toys at me...

Not sure what to suggest really - can you leave something really simple for their tea on the days when he visits - like a pizza that he can stick in the oven so no need for rooting through th cupboards and should be relatively mess-free ?

In school hols I have gone out but in term time its so much rushing around (Kids come home, go to after school club, I get home, xh comes, tea time) that I don't actually want to go out again straight away.

hi nikkie, i have this problem with my ex.

he visits on a tuesday, ds is 2.5 years and i have a 12year old coming in at 3.30

the ex did come 3.30 - 5 and it was a nightmare as the eldest came in and felt he had to disappear upstairs (he doesnt like the ex). the little ones bedtime has changed again to 5.30pm!

i changed it so he came from 4-5 and yesterday i told him quite bluntly that if he wants to continue coming then he has to get his son to eat his dinner and read him a book, not charge around with him and piss me off with the noise!

praps tell him to only come for an hour, ithink youre being very very tolerant having him round twice a week to be honest