Lone Parent Isolation

[CS1753]

I have been watching the talk board for some time, rarely join in and never posted before. So I thought let just jump in and have a go. Just wanted to say hi to everyone and see if anyone out there wanted to talk. I have been a lone parent since my ex-husband left when my DS was 2 months old. Have moved house, been declared bankrupt, got my arthritis back, work full time, not enough money for babysitters, trying to get child maintenance (failed miserably at that one!) blah blah but everything is on the up again now. So if anyone else is feeling just a bit lonely or needs some TLC drop me a line, maybe I can make some new friends and help someone out at the same time!

hello CS1753

I am now a single parent to 2 boys, a nearly 4 year old and a nearly one year old.

their dad still has a lot of involvement, but it's the run from 4.30 I dread, until they are both asleep! What with dinner, brawling, bath, brawling, milk story crying brawling, and bed - then the buggering about because they share a room!

its hard
if you work, you pick them up from school/nursery & then you count down the minutes til they are bathed & in bed...then you sit alone.....

it gets better - lots of support here - for both of you

Hi there. I am not in your situation but wanted to say that I think anyone who does this alone is totally wonderful in my book. I am also v new to this site so glad to find another newbie! It sounds like you are having a v rough deal at the mo. Sending love your way x

Hello CSI

Ex-p moved out a couple of weeks ago, but we've been seperated for almost a year. I haven't had a chance to feel lonely yet as he still comes here for dinner everynight . It irritates me but perhaps I'll miss it when he stops.

I do feel like 'what's left for me' at the end of the day though. Once DS is finally asleep, ex-p has gone home and I've tidied up I feel really empty.

Glad things are on the up for you. How long have you been a single parent for?

Thanks for all your messages. my DS is nearly 4 so have been on my own for some time now. I completely relate to the whole end of day until he goes to bed thing - especially after a hard day at work! I have to admit though there are loads of things I love about being a single parent - not sharing the remote, sleeping diagonal in bed!!! My son start school next year so I will finally have some money to spend on myself, I am so looking forward to that!!

hi, i've been living with my parents since dd was 1 month old as h was violent towards me back in July 06 (there was history of drunken violence)- you can guess contact issues are still ongoing but i think things are currently fairly under control, though i know itll hot up again before too long. hopefully get divorce thru soon. not working, no way ill be able to pay for solicitor privately if i do start, so sittin tight for now as the war aint over yet! parents are ok but not v understanding, and dont help loads, altho the roof is a financial saviour- should be housed by council in next few months, whichll be another can of worms but hopefully lots of fun. i am lonely, as my old friends don't really understand either- i don't know any local single mums at all. what do you do to combat the emptiness?? i know i was the one that left but there's still that gap where the other parent should be to share life and support us.

Hi Debra, sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time at the moment. I've been a single parent for a few years now. Have you tried contacting Gingerbread? They may be able to put you in touch with other single mums in your area. And I'm usually around late evening if you fancy a chat!

hi Debra
well I tend to drown my loneliness in the internet but I wouldnt recommend it...no idea so bumping this thread for you!

is it just me, or is the timestamp completely wrong on this thread?

doh, Ive just realised I was reading it wrongly. definitely time to sleep.

Yes, it's shit

lol nightynight - I never look at posting times, but I see what you mean - took me a while to work it out to (dur enoticon).

Debra - sorry to hear you've been through such a traumatic time. Hopefully you'll be housed by the council very soon. The emptiness is the hardest thing for me. I know what I need to do to fill my life up more, but I don't have the energy or the motivation to start anything new, so I'm often sitting alone in the evening with a bottle for company.

I get sooooo jeaolus of my mates who have things to do - not just because they have husbands/partners but because they've got some direction in their lives. I have a lot of ideas but until now that's how they've stayed, as ideas. Hopefully when the weather brightens up I'll feel more positive. I hate these gloomy evenings.

i've thought about getting one of those ultra-violet? i forget! anti- 'winter-blues' lamp thingies as the gloom really makes me want to stay in bed all day!! anyway i have to go as contact is tomoro and altho its supervised cant help gettin stressed. i think i should start settin myself earlier bedtimes really! i spend so much time thinking about h's ridiculous behaviour, he can't decide whether he loves me and wants us back, or i'm a gimp and he's gonna kill my family. i wish i could block him out of my mind. i too spend my time trawlin the net for answers to explain away what is happening and what is going to happen. i joined the Mothers for Justice forum but tbh some of the stuff on there about the injustices of the family courts and the 'syndromes' invented to take kids from their mums give me nightmares. alright, doin myself and dd no favours by staying up so take care all nite-nite x

Totally understand your anxiety about contact. Hope it's bearable for you tomorrow.

I'm sure things will seem brighter once you've been housed and you've got some independance back. If not, then get yourself one of those lamps - lol.

Sleep well and good luck for tommorrow.