Parental rights

[tammybear]

I was just wondering what rights do I have and what does exp have in regards to dd? Exp does not have parental responsibility as we were not married and has given up going through the courts for it. I was just wondering, as I know I get the main say as I am dd's main carer so I know what is in her best interest, and that exp cant just take dd whenever he likes without my permission. Thanks. xx

without parental responsibility and without a court order as regards contact, your exp really has no rights at all. He's not legally even her father. You could - technically - have her adopted without his permission. She's all yours!

tb did you try mediation yet, i remember you were thinking about it but i couldnt find the conversation again. I'm new to mn and am always trying to find things. Your situation with exp sounds so similar to mine, we dont (cant) communicate AT ALL, when i drop ds to his house he totally blanks me and talks to ds even if i try to tell him really important things about ds like if he's sick or tired or hungry he just walks away but the court say i have to give him access twice a week. He had huge explosion when he found out i was seeing someone even though we were never an item and he had been with someone else for 6 months.It scares me to think that this person can drive off with my son and i wont know he is ok for 8 hrs. had to go to court to fight against overnight visits and will keep doing so but i have a feeling he will be awarded them one day. does your exp pay maintenance because mine does and this seems to entitle him to access.

contact and maintenance have no connection at all. All men are liable to pay child support, but it gives them no rights as such. However, a man would only be refused contact by the court in extreme circumstances - ie he was a convicted rapist. But if you refused contact he would have very little practical redress.

irishjewels i remember speaking to you bout that. think its in relationships section. exp does pay maintenance but its only £10 a week. he use to pay £25 a week but dropped it without discussing it with me.

does exp being on dd's birth certificate affect anything?

god thats crap. Judge threw exp out of his office when he offered 75 euro (£50) and told him to come back with a decent offer or he'd be awarding me far far more!!! ps i didnt bring him to court he brought me, originally for guardianship. i was totally terrified that he would get it even tho i still don't know exactly what it means. it's probably like parental responsibility. Judge made him pay me 95 euro a week thru the court. exp has to bring money into court office and they then post it out to me which is great as i dont have to discuss it with him when it is late or he decides to refuse to pay at the weekend just in case i spend it on myself or drink or something ( i should be so lucky) i hate him so much but we live in small town and have to deal with it, how do you cope with visits etc

i have to just grin and bear it, you should read my other thread on here. i think its something like help - exp is coming today, or something like that. he was hear at the weekend with his parents and it was awkward as usual. i hate them coming but i put up with it just so dd can see him

doesnt matter whether name on birth cert. I wanted his name on it anyway just for ds sake If i had refused he would have just demanded a dna test which then proves fatherhood anyway so he gets the same rights.

aloha, am having moral dilemma here as ds is totally obsessed with exp and why wouldn't he be life is all circus, swimming pool, new toys and absolutely no discipline. Would seriously consider moving away but fear that ds would never forgive me in years to come

tammybear- just a word of warning- my DD is nearly 8 now and my exp and I split nearly6.5yrs ago. Up until last August he did not have any parental rights, I was getting to a soilder and we were to get posted to Cyprus. Exp got very angry and threatened to stop me,(he has only ever seen DD 4times yearly due to his own devices always had open access!!) I was under the impression that as he had no parental right s and we were never married that he couldn't stop me and the descion was mine alone. How wrong was I , I went to see a solicetor who told me that even with out parental rights because of new laws that have come in exp could stop me taking DD out of the country and also have me pulled back on a court order if his consent was not given. Unmarried fathers are now being given a lot more.. I mentioned to the solicetor re not giving him parental rights as to me he did't/doesn't deserve them but was told that the courts would issue them regardless as there has never been any extreem circumstances involved, i.e him hitting either of us etc.

Hope all this makes sense. So in the end exp got his rights, and eventually gave me permission to bring DD to Cyprus to live with my DH and I and our newborn son, we have all been out here for 3.5weeks now.

And as for adoption, if you did get with someone else, her father does have to sign the forms to say that he agrees with the adoption regardless of him having parental rights. ( Not sure on the next bit though but if your new partner ever adopted the child then I THINK you also have to adopt otherwise they have more rights to the child than you. I know that used to be the case not sure anymore.!!!)

In one way going through the solicitors has made things easier as he can't start to f*ck me around re when he is going to see her etc. As far as maintenance goes you need to either comne to a mutual agreement or go to the CSA. We have a mutual agreement as CSA payment I thought was far to high, but my case is just held with them so at anypoint I (not him) can reopen it this makes him stick to the agreement as he knows I will go back to the CSA if he doesn't then he will be totally screwed.

Hope this has helped and sorry if it hasn't.

Good luck.