Livid with ex - AIBU?

[octobersunshine]

My partner left me and my now 9 month old son just after Christmas. Over his short life, my ex has bothered very little with my DS yet since he left, he's playing the injured father act, I don't let him see his son, etc etc. Which is not the case, I just want arrangements to suit DS schedule. Last week he messaged to say he couldn't pick him up as arranged because he was going on a night out the evening before and wouldn't be able to drive in the morning as he'd be over the limit. I said he could pick him up towards lunch time and he said this still wouldn't be suitable. I suggested he act like every other responsible parent and go to bed at a time which would allow him to look after his son as arranged. This was no good either, because I didn't understand that it was a big night out and once he's there he wont leave etc. Now I get a message to say that he can't have DS next week either because he's on a lads night the night before, so his parents will take him. I feel so bloody angry. He has him one afternoon a week and he can't be arsed prioritising his child over nights out. I would be less angry if he wasn't telling everyone he comes across just how much I'm restricting access. AIBU?

Keep records of all this - you may need details of his lack of commitment and responsibility towards your dc if it goes to court. He is an arse - but this can't continue until your ds is old enough to realise he is being let down. .

Unfortunately this is a common story. I have no advice to offer other than what people have told me: you are not responsible for his relationship with his son and any damage he may cause to it. All you can do is try and shield your son as much as possible and wait for him to see for himself what his df is like. If you want to get a formal agreement about contact you could but he'll probably continue to do what he wants.

Yanbu to be angry but you can't control what he says to other people and eventually they may learn the truth.