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Why oh why does my ex behave like this towards his first child?

5 replies

WhatIsItWithHim · 01/03/2007 02:39

Hi, im a namechanging regular.

Well the story is my ex p and i have been mutually separated for eight years. During this time he has been a complete idiot with regards to our son. Ds was a planned baby, although we were young, ds was prem and we went through a lot. We've usually been on good terms. BUT...

My ex is a complete waste of time. He is ruled by emotions it seems and in the past he has gotten a new gf and a certain "routine" always seems to follow. He gets a girl, falls in love, sells/gives up his property and moves in with said girl and her mum, he then loses his job. Then later down the line, it falls apart and he ends up living with a friend. Every time he has a gf, he doesn't see our son.

He got married a couple of years ago and the same thing happened. He gave up his (our) house and moved in with her and hardly saw ds. When they split up, he saw ds every weekend. Ds got used to this. Now exp has a new woman, after waiting for a council property he lived there approx. 6 weeks before he gave it up to move in with new gf, her child and her mother.

He stopped seeing ds, telling me he had ocd and had thoughts about hurting his children (he also now has a child with the woman he married). Then he said he was "on the sick" from work and couldn't pay maintenance anymore.

Ive nagged at him and tried to tell him how upset ds is that he doesnt see him anymore, he will pop down to see him that week and then nothing. Its been almost a month now, no phonecalls and no contact.

Im more upset than i let on and not really sure where to go from here. I know there's no solution, im thinking that when he does call i may tell him to back off and not see ds again. Ive seen this so many times.

Sorry, such a self pitying rant but i feel for ds. Its not fair.

OP posts:
Egypt · 01/03/2007 05:11

This is awful for your ds. So sorry, I don't know what to suggest, except perhaps an ultimatum - dad or not a dad at all. your ds can't go through this sort of rejection for all his childhood. Hope someone has some good advice for you soon x

SittingBull · 01/03/2007 06:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WhatIsItWithHim · 01/03/2007 21:31

Thankyou for your messages. I wish there was a solution but i know it's just not that easy.

OP posts:
mamama · 02/03/2007 02:35

You're right, it's not fair.

I wish I could say something more helpful.

{{hugs}}

quietmouse · 02/03/2007 09:41

does he see his younger child?

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