HI
I hope you dont mind me dropping this on you but this is the first time I have posted but have been reading for a while.
I am in a bit of a crisis situation and dont know if anyone has any advice of best way to handle it. I am a single parent and just moved (4 months) into a new area. I started working 4 days a week with my 2 and 4 year olds 2 days with a childminder and 2 days in a nursery. Basically for some time my childminder has been acting independently of me and doing things off her own back such as taking the children to preschool (without asking me), taking them (repetitively) to the doctors for coughs, telling them (children) that they dont have to go to nursery cos she will have them instead and offering to have them overnight (unpaid????). All without talking to me. As a first time I have used a childminder she seems very "involved".
Anyway, on Thursday I receved a call from my doctor who told me that my childminder has submitted a complaint about me that he needs to pass on to social services that, the children sometimes look unkept (not brushed hair and breakfast on their face) when I drop them off, that they dont wear vests and that she felt I should be taking them to the doctors with their coughs more often(although they have never had a temperature or been "unwell" with it. I disagree that they need to see a GP every time they cough but that difference of opinion has got me into trouble in combination with the messy hair thing. I have never had any concerns raised by nursery carers and the children have been to nursery since being small. They alsways have clean, well fitting clothes and shoes and thick winter coats, so we really are just talking about their hair and sometimes jammy faces. I feel shocked that she would do something so drastic as "report" her concerns before even telling me she was concerned, so that in terms of the hair situation I could have taken time to brush it!!! and also explained to her why I dont feel it necessary to go to the GP with them all the time (I do and have taken them for other things as appropriate). Everyone including her has said how happy, well adjusted polite lovely children they are but the concerns that they are "medically" neglected feels so untrue and as I said underhand. She seems to have got over involved in all aspects of their care and crossed boundaries of their care in taking them to doctors, preschools without my permission. Finally I am mostly scared if my ex found out he would insist he had them and they would end up with a nanny bringing them out due to his work commitments. I love my kids and if there was any truth in it (and believe me I have been so self critical this last few days) I would happily pass them back to him if it were in there interests but I KNOW its not true and we are very happy and clean! all the time except for the occasional rush morning to work. I am sorry for the long winded nature of this but this is new and terrifying to me and I dont know if I should be doing anything more proactive than wait for the inevitable visit from social workers?
thanks for your time Beth