Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

So dh wants to stay in the house and I have a plan but...........

42 replies

Ulysees · 09/02/2007 16:43

dh is hopping mad.
I've been to the council to see what's available i.e. nothing. I've hunted for a private let and nothing suitable in our area. Where we live is pretty sort after hence no council houses.
so, where my neices live is a nice area, not too far from where I grew up. They both have housing association places and they're lovely 3 bedroom houses, close to a decent school and village. I rang elder neice and discussed it with her and said I'm going to try to get one. Rang HO and they're sending me a form, asked me to get letter from dh and dr etc.... all which will give me extra points. So, I told dh and he'll write letter but when I said the boys will have to change to that school he went off it. Said there's no way they're changing schools. The house is way too far for me to get them there and back, it's the other side of town and I don't have a car. I know it isn't ideal but he wants to stay in our cosy house so what does he expect? Plus I'll have lots of support over there and my friends will still visit me. My mam isn't far from there either.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ULOVEYSEES · 13/02/2007 08:51

Thanks for your replies
I hadn't thought of not declaring the dss. I'm seeing the lone parent advisor tomorrow so I'll see what he/she has to say about HB.
I'm sure something will come up it's just I got my hopes up for a change, I'm usually pessimistic

Glad to hear that story yurtgirl

ULOVEYSEES · 13/02/2007 08:53

Oh and as for the house, there's only 8k left to pay on the mortgage. I'm going to arrange for him to pay me off slowly as he won't be able to afford to stay here if he gives me half. That'll give me extra income too. I'll get his mother involved as he's scared of her and I know she'll want to support me too. She's been very good to him re: money so he won't dare mess up where she's concerned. Plus he's pretty fair when it comes to money, he's only trying to use the house as a threat to make me stay.

Tortington · 13/02/2007 08:58

alohas question ( below) is very pertinant - both to your housing situation and to your benefit entitlement. its one to watch carefully.

houses in some areas are in such high demand - that as amazonaka said - they may demand you fight to stay in your house and sell with enough equity to private rent.

ULOVEYSEES · 13/02/2007 09:51

thanks custardo, I'll keep an eye on that. It was at the back of my mind. I'll just have to see what happens. All I know is I can't carry on like this.

Fattytwoshoes · 13/02/2007 10:03

When i left my exh i stayed at my mums and then my mum evicted me so council had to ho use me even though i had a house with exh as we had a mortgage but it was gonna get repossed as ex hadn't paid mortgage for 5 mnoths. soo... it can work but it's very stressful.

HOpe you find somewhere.

Is there no one you could live with for a few months until the council house you?

ULOVEYSEES · 13/02/2007 10:07

I can stay here or maybe go to my mum's but that'd drive me nuttier than I am now!!
I'll keep looking for private and hand my council/housing ass. form in tomorrow. You never know?

Yurtgirl · 13/02/2007 21:18

Ulysees - I would suggest if you do visit your mum - visit - DO NOT move in even if only temporarily

If the council decide you have moved in to your mums and there is enough room for you they wont rehouse you - you will be stuck there!!!

HTH

Yurtgirl · 13/02/2007 21:19

Unless your mum then evicts you of course

Aloha · 13/02/2007 21:27

I would be quite surprised if a council gave housing to someone who already owned property.

ULOVEYSEES · 14/02/2007 08:13

I was wondering about that too Aloha. I'm going to the council today so I'll have a chat with them and see where I stand.

ULOVEYSEES · 14/02/2007 21:52

Well I'm still able to apply but get less points. I've broadened my desired location Could even end up near my mother!!! Nah, she's ok and my brother lives there too. Plus lots of old school friends.

I have more right to our house than dh apparently. I think I may try to work on him and get him to leave. Be much better for the boys. I think the housing officer was surprised at how laid back I was about it all. Dh and I are still friendly - up to now. I think it could change though which is a shame. I may suggest Relate as I have been thinking about it? Not to keep us together but they also help couples who are splitting to resolve things.

Sallyheartshapedstrawberry · 14/02/2007 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ULOVEYSEES · 14/02/2007 22:14

Hello back
Yes I know I have been, I felt a bit guilty what with him being not too well, stressed out etc... but now he's looking better I'm having a rethink.

why aren't you on msn? How are you all?

Aloha · 14/02/2007 22:19

Of course you have more right to the house. You need to house the children who will be mainly living with you. Am amazed you would walk away from thousands of pounds really! He could buy the house from you, but can he afford it?

Aloveheart · 14/02/2007 22:22

my mum had a three bedroomed house and they housed me. I suppose it's the luck of the draw (fattytwoshoes under new name)

Aloveheart · 14/02/2007 22:24

It's not all about money, i left everything it was the best thing i've ever done.

ULOVEYSEES · 14/02/2007 22:47

Yes I know all that as I've had over a year to think about it but there's been lots and lots of stress, so much I would never wish anyone to go through it. Now dh is ill with pneumonia and it's taking some shifting. He's been through a lot and I didn't want to crush him any more than I have. He was devastated when I said I wanted out. Now though I realise that I may have to rethink unless I can rent somewhere near here. I'm going to have to have a long chat with him/go to Relate or just get someone to mediate with us if he won't listen. He's trying to ignore the fact that it's over as he'd quite happily go on as before.
I still love him as a friend and respect him so I suppose I'm trying to protect him too. He's angry and very hurt and may change his mind on his own, I hope?

Flip

1 2