Hello all,
More of a resigned rant than a question here. Ex h and I have ds and dd and after many ups and downs and loads of rows about inconsistency we've finally nailed an agreement of when he sees kids. However last year when he moved in with his new partner and her little boy he advised me he would be cutting down his maintenance payments as he was struggling to afford everything. Annoying, but as he a mature student and wasnt earning and we had a family agreement. I had to suck it up.
Anyway now he's announced that he's no longer going to pay the amount he changed it to, he can't afford it. He has finished studying and not is working part time and training to be something completely different. I offered to accept a lesser amount and he refused and said he'd go via CSA or whatever system is in place now. Which I'm pretty sure is his way of saying "I'm not going to pay, and I'm going to get a letter saying that I don't have to"
I realise there's very little I can do. It's a pain financially, but we can still live, just alter the budget and go without the odd treat. My dp supports us and like me was prepared for this day coming, says it's not a problem, forget it, etc.
The thing is, I just can't get past the fact exh is happy like this. Refusing to work full time, happy not to pay, and to allow me and my dp to just deal with it. We've had our ups and downs but I've always felt he loved the kids and things would get easier as they got older and he got together with his partner, she seemed to settle him. But he just seems to really not give a shiny shite whether his kids are fed/clothed. He has them once a week overnight which has only been in the last couple of months. I'm being cynical now, but has he done that to ensure he won't have to pay any extra?
I have it a lot better than a lot of mums but I'm finding it hard not to really hate his guts? Am I in the wrong? How do you all cope and feel about your exes?