Joining the club

[Marmalade85]

Father of my 7.5m old son has finally agreed to leave after I have finally found strength to expose the domestic violence. None of his family believe me and I haven't told my own yet. Feeling nervous about my new life as a single mother.

What are some of the good things about life as a lone parent?

Thank you for your reply. It's overwhelming right now. Glad you have succeeded and found happiness

Thanks karma. I wasn't married thank goodness and live in a rented property. Do I look into benefits now? I work full time.

Thank you so much for your advice. I'll certainly look into everything you've suggested. I earn £31000 in London and pay £70 per day full time childcare so would be interested to see what help I can get.

Really just enjoy parenting without looking over your shoulder or being scared. Get some therapy eg The Freedom Programme from Women's Aid. I thought I didn't need it but it really hit me 6 months later. I hadn't realised how much the violence affected me.
I find it very difficult to discuss with friends - it helps to be able to sound off to someone.

I loved doing all the things that I wasn't allowed to do beforehand. Parenting is so much easier on my own.

Yes only today have I actually told my family and his family about the violence. His family think I am making it up and don't believe a word I have said even though I discovered he has a history or violence against women but never had the police involved.

I will make it my mission to tell every woman he comes into contact with what he is really like.

Looking forward to having my own space with my son and no longer walking on eggshells.

It's crazy to think that we, as intelligent women, can be subject to such abuse and torment and nobody even notices! We hide it ourselves through shame and fear. It is so so wrong. I'm an extremely strong woman and will be the first to start preaching about feminism and equality and yet I was being abused at home. It really can happen to anyone.

Hello

I cannot describe the sense of joy, peace and freedom of having our own home after living on eggshells!!! It's heaven. Me and my toddler used to dance around the lounge the first few weeks.

There are all sorts of other benefits but nothing beats being able to be safe and happy and relaxed in your own home and create a family culture that your DC will be held by rather than thinking they will grow up frightened and watching something toxic.

There's no one to judge your parenting so if you're both tired and want to eat porridge for dinner or pile into bed and watch Peppa Pig, it's your show now.

Whoop!

Plus leaving him opens up possibilities for the future. Who's to say you'll be a lone parent for years. Xx