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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Flip

Original poster

Day 4 of being a lone parent!!

17 replies

babysteffee · 31/05/2004 19:14

I became a single mother last Thursday when I reported dh to the police because he kicked me in the face.

I feel a mixture of emotions, but mostly lost. What do I do now, lol?

I'm 23, I've got three kids (3 years, 19 months and 5 months) and live in Derby.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tammybear · 31/05/2004 19:16

Hi babysteffee, Im a single mum at 19 with dd of 17 months. I just wanted to say hi, and that there are a few single parents on here too. We're always here if you need a chat.

How have you been coping?

coppertop · 31/05/2004 19:27

I don't have any experience but didn't want to ignore your post. There are some brilliant single mums and single dads on mumsnet who will be able to give you some help and advice.

coppertop · 31/05/2004 19:39

Eeeek! Just saw on another thread that your nose was broken. Hope you're okay now. xx

maisystar · 31/05/2004 19:42

hi babysteffee, i'm a single mum with a little boy who's 3 1/2 and live in sheffield. my brothers at uni in derby.

did you know theres a meet up tomorrow in derby?

squirmyworm · 31/05/2004 19:43

babysteffee welcome - i know you will get some good advice and support here. It's good to have you on board. gotta run now and sort the baby but speak soon I hope and hang in there - you've done the right thing and things WILL get better

prufrock · 31/05/2004 19:43

I also don't have any experience but I think you've done exactly the right thing to get rid of your dh for his unacceptable behaviour. You're setting a really good example for your kids, and looking after them in the bestway possible by not subjecting them to growing up witnesing a violent relationship. I'm sure your going to have some really down times, but you have made the right decision, and tehre are lots of people on Mumsnet who have been through similar situations and will be able to support you.

Janstar · 31/05/2004 19:43

Hi babysteffee. This is a rotten time for you but it will pass. You absolutely cannot stay with a man who treats you that way. There is no doubt that it is best for you and the kids to have him out of your lives.

You are so young, you have so much ahead of you, don't be afraid. There is nothing a determined woman can't acheive.

You will find many people to chat with and support you here on mumsnet, and lots of them will have first-hand experience of what you are going through.

Where are you staying?

motherinferior · 31/05/2004 19:45

Welcome to MN, and I just want to second what everyone else has said. You've done the right thing, and I mean it when I say everyone will support you here - it's a brilliant site.

Flip · 31/05/2004 19:47

I just wanted to say Hi and how brave you are for leaving a violent relationship. You'll find a lot of support here and there's alwasys someone around, day or night.

Original poster

babysteffee · 31/05/2004 19:52

Wow, I didn't expect any replies so soon!! Thanks for the welcome.

I have no doubts whatsoever that I did the right thing, it just feels a bit strange, lol. He's surprised me by moving out, and is going to see a counsellor tomorrow off his own back too.

I knew about the meet in Derby tomorrow, but have only been here five minutes lol, will make the next one!

OP posts:

mammya · 31/05/2004 21:20

Welcome babysteffee, and good luck in your new single life! Hope to "see" you around on Mumsnet.

suzywong · 31/05/2004 21:29

Yes welcom babysteffee, it sounds like you are a very sorted person. What a b££4%E^d!. You did the right thing.
You must come in to one of the bars on MN one night and we can serve you a welcome drink.

johay · 01/06/2004 01:44

You are not alone. My dh assaulted me on my birthday in February of this year. Being a single parent is really hard but I know I've done the best for my kids and myself. My ds (11) was a nervous wreck and since we've left the marital home he has blossomed. His teachers have noticed the change and so have I, he is generally much happier and more confident. My dd is 4 and it is harder to know what is going on in her little head. We haven't seen him for 3 months now and I dread having to face him in court. Although the assault itself was minor, compared to things he has done to me in the past, what made me leave was that he got hold of my 12 week old kitten by the neck, shook her and threw her across the room. I am ashamed to say that I put up with his abuse for 13 years. God knows what damage I have done to my children. Good luck babysteffee and keep in touch

serenequeen · 01/06/2004 06:13

good for you. you've been really strong and you really have done the best thing for your family. hope you find lots of support here.

Fizog · 01/06/2004 09:08

Hello babysteffee, I'm 24 and a sinlge mum to dd (almost 2). I also left my partner due to violence and have never looked back. My brother is also at uni in Derby (maisystar). Wanted to echo the other posts, there are lots of single parents (and married ones) that will be able to give you great strength and support. Hope you are getting along ok!!

lilibet · 01/06/2004 09:28

Hello

I used to be a single parent of three, mine are older than yours tho'. I think that the number of women on here who have had violent partners is shocking.
You will feel lost at first but to quote the song and be really corny - sing along with me now "things can only get better" (sorry)

Go to the Derby meet, there will be some great people there and keep posting

NomDePlume · 01/06/2004 09:31

Hi babysteffee

Welcome to mumsnet, well done for having the courage and determination to make your decision and to stand by it. Your H's behaviour is disgusting and to your enormous credit it sounds like you are aware of how damaging it is to all involved, many victims of domestic abuse are not fortunate enough to be that clear sighted. I'm not a first hand victim of domestic violence but I was a child of an abusive marriage and I've seen how hard it can be to make the break.

Like everyone on here says, you are young and strong. Keep going and never be afraid to talk about it, especially on here, I think mumsnetters have the biggest collective 'virtual shoulder' on the internet !

Hopefully you have a good support system, friends, family, whoever, who will help keep you sane in the coming months.

Huge hugs
NDP xx

Flip