Advice Please - daughter does not want to go her dads

[dravensangel]

Hi there, I have 12 year old twins. I have been divorced from their dad for 8 years, we have joint custody and they split their time equally between us. My daughter is getting very upset about going to her dads, she says he picks on her and feels he hates her. I'm not saying I necessarily believe her, but the reason I left was due to him emotionally bullying me. I am just not sure where I stand in terms of asking for her to stay with me for a while, also she is scared that he will be angry with her for wanting to be with me more. Anyone have any advice please?

Is there a court order in place?

can you talk to him? explain she is a hormonal teen and needs some 1-1 time with her mom? maybe breathing space would help her? my son is 7 and refuses to go to his dads sometimes it just gives him an emotional reset and he goes happily the next time

Thank you so much for replying. Yes there is a court order. He is very difficult to talk to, very combative, I would worry he would take it out on her, also I would need to consider her brother, who would be upset if I asked to just have her more

you need to ask for mediation to help put her point across in a controlled environment point is at her age some girls cling to there mom and it's unfair to force her not to go through the natural process of growing up