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Lone parents

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Original poster

sad and tired

12 replies

gettingthere · 26/05/2004 20:56

This is a first for me - posting a message! I'm also fairly new to being a single parent (18 months) and finding it really hard - not in a practical sense, but meeting new people, and trying to develop a sense of direction. Also answering a lot of questions from people about "what went wrong?" . At the moment I'm trying so hard I think I am in danger of losing perspective! Any ideas please?

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maomao · 26/05/2004 21:04

Hi gt,

I haven't got any good advice for you, tho' I'm sure there are many MNers who will have wise things to say. I'm sorry that it's such a tough time for you. How old is/are your child(ren)?

Original poster
gettingthere · 26/05/2004 21:15

13, 7 and 4. they have coped remarkably well with a very stressful situation (although I don't think we'll really know until they make their own relationships), but I am so worried that they will begin to pick up my vibes. I'm taking them to France shortly but I just hope I'm up to giving them a good time. Thanks for taking the time to reply

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Soapbox · 26/05/2004 21:17

Gettingthere - I don't have any advice either - I am at the other end of the age range for motherhood

There are lots of mums on here who are younger and who will be able to help you out!

Just keep bumping your message up into the active conversations every now and again to make sure someone sees it!

Good luck - I hope you find some wise words on here

Soapbox · 26/05/2004 21:19

OOps - I thought you were 18 Just re-read it and you have been on your own for 18 months!

Still hope someone can help you though

maomao · 26/05/2004 21:19

I think that taking them to France is half the battle in itself! I'm sure they'll have a wonderful time! Try not to be too hard on yourself --- I know it's hard to keep perspective, and that it's easy for me to say this not knowing what you've been thru. Do you have good friends who can give you support?

Original poster
gettingthere · 26/05/2004 21:32

I'm kind of glad I'm not 18! (but wish i wasn't 40 as well) - yes I do have some good support and that's great, but i don't like to repeat myself to close friends on frequent basis!!!! as for the trip abroad all i can say is seemed like a good idea at the time and I'm sure we will enjoy once we've been through whose turn it is to choose...where to go, what to eat.... etc etc. I am actually quite a positive person (believe it or not!) but some days (like today)(and I'm sure we all have them) really never end.... what I don't know is when i will feel 'settled'??

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maomao · 26/05/2004 21:39

LOL --- that's what good friends are for! Repeating yourself over and over and over..... You must be a really good and considerate friend to not do that!!!

I know that you want to feel "settled" --- it's like a light at the end of the tunnel. But maybe you're being a little hard on yourself?

phatcat · 26/05/2004 21:47

Hi gettingthere - do you have any long held dreams / plans that could feed into developing a sense of direction that you could break down into a list of things to do/achieve over the next few years. Also do you need to get bogged down in explaining what went wrong to people? Maybe just come up with some stock phrase like 'no more post-mortems, I'm moving on' when the subject comes up?

Good on yer for starting a thread on your first post (my first thread died a death!) Hope to see you around on MN.

maomao · 26/05/2004 21:49

ooo phatcat, very good advice indeed!

Original poster
gettingthere · 26/05/2004 21:54

yes - you're right and one in particular has been there and back with me and is fantastic. I guess where I am is at a point where there appear to be opportunities to go along different routes and I doubt my judgement to choose any more (I'm not worried about sensible or appropriate) those things which will make us a different sort of happy family unit. oh dear I AM going on! added to which ex-h finds it easy to create havoc (unintended havoc to be fair - he can't help it!!)

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gettingthere · 26/05/2004 22:02

well thanks for answering my first thread - and I definitely promise to start a cheerier one next time!!!! it is about dreams isn't it - I'm glad youve said that - i think i get bogged down

this is an excellent site - its lifted my spirits and looking through the conversations, it appears to be very supportive

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maomao · 26/05/2004 22:04

Everyone gets bogged down once in awhile --- you're only human after all!

Actually, while it's a difficult time for you, in a way it's very exciting that you have these opportunities that can take you down vastly different roads. It's a kind of burgeoning

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