Exh not paying his share of school bills

[eternityleave]

Really don't know where to go next with this and tearing my hair out!

Abusive ex (who still takes any opportunity to emotionally abuse me) is supposed to pay his 'share' of school after-school club bills on days he has DC. He's extremely tight and begrudges having to pay anything, even maintenance, and also thinks anything 'admin' related should be done by me even though we're no longer together.

School will only release one invoice (I've asked them multiple times if they can do one for each of us, they won't). Usually I have to pay my share, then highlight his on the invoice and pass it on to him. If I don't, and usually when I do aswell, he just doesn't pay until the school start nagging me for our arrears. Then he excuses it by saying I should be telling him when he needs to pay the bills.

He hasn't paid anything since December when I last nagged him after the school got on my back. Now the arrears are building up again and school are on my back again - I've explained the situation to them but apparently they can't get anywhere with him so they come to me as they know I'll sort it.

I'm trying to distance myself from his attempts to control me so I'm finding this hard anyway but what can I do now? We have no court order in place currently for childcare, only a family agreement.

Help?

Can you get the school to send the bill to him in his name and you send him your share as you know roughly how much it is and roughly when it is due.
I'm sure if you are even a little bit low on your estimate he will be quick to contact you.

I don't think that would work - the larger portion of the school bills are mine. I've asked them to put his name on the invoice (at the moment it's only mine) but they havn't done that yet. I'm not even sure him getting the bill first would work as he probably still wouldn't pay!

I think you need to speak to the head. Tell them their school admin is exposing you to emotional abuse from your ex. All you are asking is for separate invoices.

They need to serve all students needs, not just those with parents who are together.

That's probably a good idea leelu, I've not spoken to the head yet.

It does seem ridiculous that they can't produce two bills. I think Leelu is right, you need to raise this with school.