Is it rude?

[Amy214]

My daughters father barely has contact with her but recently he has been asking to see her after work which i have said is fine but i have noticed that he likes to come and see her covered from head to toe in oil, would it be wrong if i asked him to nip home and have a shower, change of clothes before he comes? I am very paranoid about my daughter getting sick, i dont like confrontation and would like to avoid it if possible, what should i say?

How old is DD? I am assuming young from your post...If so the YANBU

Shes just turned 2 and is always eating things she shouldnt, so i just imagine all sorts when hes covered in dirt

Yanbu. I'm surprised that her dad would want her to hug an oily person in the first place.

I dont understand why they cant understand where i am coming from its not only her im thinking about its also my house just thinking about cleaning up oil gives me nightmares

What sort of oily? I'm envisaging a buff tanned stripper (sorry😐) but I assume you mean like engine oil. If he lived with you this is how your little one would welcome him home. How dirty? Does he wear overalls? Could he remove them? This is how I remember my dad when I was little. To me the memory if it reminds me of him going off to do hard work all day in his factory for me and my family. It's a nice memory. Especially since he had to retire early after a bad stroke. He was a really hard worker, never taking days off sick etc iirc. He also used to sit at the tea table telling us stories of his day.