There have been 2 occasions where my ex has had the children and neglected them. The first time stayed in bed all day in his flat and didn't give the children lunch. A few months later they stayed with him at the weekend and the children told me he left them on his own 'for a long time'. They were crying and scared. They are 5 and 3. It was the first time I had allowed the 3 year old to go.
He has them on Thursdays while I work. Recently he got signed off work and didn't see the children for 3 weeks. I had to frantically work out childcare for those days and I decided that we were no longer going to rely on him because other than being unsafe he was jeopardising my job.
I had taken the day off work today to look after my youngest and was getting ready to take my eldest to school when he turned up. I said that he hadn't told me that he was coming today (turns out he texted my old phone). I have sorted childcare now for the next few weeks. He then called his parents who were parked round the corner. They came and I have a very bad relationship with his mother and she has made false allegations of assault about me. She started arguing with me and blocked my car and I had put the children's coats in the car ready to go to school. I had to go past her to get to the boot. We made contact but I didn't push her. We walked with her and ex following me to the school, a good 15 minute walk, and they eventually gave up and he went to talk to the teacher. Not sure what about as I was taking him to school. They called the police And I spoke to them. She accused me of assaulting her. Luckily they didn't believe her.
My solicitor and social services have told me that if I don't think the children are safe with him I should stop them from going which I did.
He will want to take them on Saturday and my solicitor told me not to allow it and if I do not want him to look after the children I need to be consistent and stop it completely.
What can I do about this? I let him have my youngest for a sleepover for the first time and he did the above. I try to do the right thing but I just can't win.