Absent father for 5 years now Possibly wanting contact...

[danniicee]

Hi everyone,
I am just looking for some guidance or advice as I can't seem to find anything relatable online.

My son was born in 2010 when he was 1 his father and I split up after he cheated several times.

Anyway he asked for him 2 hours one day a week at that point which I granted. So I would take him to his dads and then collect him. However, my son had extremely bad allergies and on one occasion he came home covered in a rash and scratches. When I confronted his father he explained that he had a cat and couldn't keep the cat away from son at all times. I didn't find this acceptable as he knew about sons allergies and so asked for him to see him somewhere else. Communication between us at this point completely broke down as I received a lot of abuse. So from that point the matter was dealt via lawyers. He was offered contact on several occasions by my lawyer at several locations. However his father wanted a contact centre which i was to pay half for. My lawyer told me not to agree to this on the grounds that other locations had been offered along with his own family members. His father from early 2011 dropped all contact and stopped communication with his lawyer.

Its now 2016 5 years on and I've been told by a "friend" that his father has been telling people that he wants to see his son again and will fight for him.

I am really just wanting to know were i stand with him getting any access to my son. He has declined contact in the past and hasn't been involved with my son since he was 1. My son has no idea who he is and I am worried how it would affect him if his father follows through with his plans.

He is also on the birth certificate.

Thank you in advance for any help

Men like this who are prepared to walk out on their kids and have no contact are often full of jabber to all and sundry about how they LOOOVE their kids, they want them, they're going to court for full custody (!!) etc etc. Makes them look good to friends/ potential girlfriends. Have you heard anything from him? You put 'friend', is this person someone who would hear and pass on his bullshit as opposed to someone who is telling you he's had a change of heart and has decided this recently?

Thank you for all your comments

Its comforting to know I'm not alone with this situation.

I don't think my son could cope with the situation well if he was to follow through. He has a very stable home at the moment with a routine etc and I wouldn't like anything to disrupt that let alone allow someone to drift in and out his life.

Yeah 'friend' in the sense that its a person who has him on Facebook and told me he had plaster all his LOVE for his son all over it and how he was going to fight for his son who he misses dearly.

Funny you have mentioned about a girlfriend as I according to the 'friend' he's also got another one recently who has children of her own. So i don't know if this sudden exclamation of LOVE is related to this.

I just hate how I am always portrayed as the bad person who uses her son as weapon when its nothing like that in the slightest. People are so easily drawn in by him. When the truth is it was him that walked away and I've got the letters to prove it.

I haven't heard anything from him which I'm hope is a good thing. I just pray for my sons sake and stability that he has only be talking himself up.

Totally with you vocational goat. My DC father disappeared too but now is looking to be DC father.... Has got solicitors involved for contact. Acting very serious about DC.

Someone once said to me...You never hear a absent father say.. I am crap father.. I let my DC down over and over again because I chose the pub/ latest girlfriend / football over my own child..

I agree with other wait for contact from him before worrying.