just looking for a listening ear..

[babyblues19]

I'm 19 yrs old, due my first child in 2 weeks and I'm so lonely and scared for my future. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby so much but I'm so sick of being alone. The "man" who got me ppregnant left me after a few weeks, unfortunately he was a one night stand, we tried a relationship but he didn'tstick around long and has made my life hell by ignoring me throughout my pregnancy and being an absolute prick when we do talk..he won't contribute a penny towards the cost of the babys things yet expects involvement..he's a waster who drinks all his money in the pub with no proper jjob, basically lives off his mother. I don't trust him and genuinely think he would be no good to my baby. I am better off without him as he really stresses me out. I'm just finding being alone so ddifficult, I was with an aamazing man for 4 years but I stupidly called things off as I felt we were too young and then a few months later i had a one night stand with that prick and it kills me that Igave up such an amazing man only to end up in this situation. I just want to throw myself off a bridge I'm sick of my life

I had my son when I was 18 and tried to make it with the fathers for years until he eventually dumped me. Now looking back he was the cause of enormous stress and upset and barely helped wth my son at all. I think you need to approach this now as you doing this on your own, forget about him. Don't dwell on the other guy either, if it was meant to be then you wouldn't have broken up in the first place.

it will be hard but so many of us do it. Obviously everyone's circumstances are different but ultimately it is 100% possible for you to do this. You cannot just throw yourself off a bridge, you are now responsible for your baby. I think when I realized this things got a lot better, my sons father is probably never going to be a proper parent and there is nothing I can do about that. But I can be, I can be a great example to my son.

What helps me is having a life plan, money for me stresses me out no end. So I have began to create myself the kind of career I want (freelance) that hopefully will work around my son and hopefully have the potential to earn a reasonable amount. You just have to try and be positive, you are about to experience an amazing life changing event. Once your baby is born I think you may feel differently so just see how things go.

One of the best things about being a single parent is you love your child and they love you no matter what life throws at you.
Life is a bit crappy for you right now, but it won't always be like this. There is an excellent chance you will meet someone else and have a good relationship. A friend was in a similar position to you, but her daughter's father took the really mature approach and emigrated to Australia! When her DD was 3 she meet an amazing, lovely man who she married when DD was 6. He adopted the DD and they have two more children together.
Make a plan for your life together it will help you to see a way forward.

Oh sweetheart. It is so lonely going through a pregnancy alone. You want to share all the good things, and the worries. That fella has done you a FAVOUR, you do not need someone like that in your life, your childs life. He sounds like a complete waster who will always mess you around, never provide for his child, and then when your child is older, hurt your child by being the same. If he wants to be involved & have access then he will need to get everything above board, maintenence agreements etc.

I know its hard to let go, especially when you are so emotional right now & very vulnerable. Pregnancy is a crazy experience, and ten times crazier on your own. But you know what. You will be fine. I was in your boat two years ago. I was just sick with terror, how would it all work out etc. And it did. My baby is just spectacular, its extremely busy but I love being a mam and I love her so much. Try to turn your mind off him. Focus on you and your beautiful bundle.

Do you have other supports? Do you live with your family? You need to build a community around yourself now. Get out to mum & baby groups as much as you can and find one that suits you. You will meet amazing mums there who will be dealing with what you are. There are lots of fb groups for mums which is also great for information & support. I'm in dublin & we have a single parent group. Its serioulsy amazing. We all support each other like a family. Just to show you that there is SO much out there, you are NOT alone. It is a sad situation, you would rather have your baby under better circumstances, but very few people get their ideal.

If you ever want to pm me Im here :)

I would go no contact with this loser.

Trust your instincts - if you think he'll be no good for this baby you're probably right. The way he's treated you shows you what kind of person he is.

Whatever you do - don't let him pressurise you into putting his name on the birth certificate. That would give him parental responsibility and the right to make both if your lives a misery forever.

You're young - please make a clean break from him and a fresh start for you and this brand new little person.