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Being lone parent make you feel like a soft target?

4 replies

justaquestion · 02/12/2006 16:10

continuing from thread 'Being lone parent make you feel fragile?'
i think thats better

OP posts:
hoolagirl · 02/12/2006 17:43

Yip, us fragile girls need to get some attitude

hoolagirl · 02/12/2006 17:45

I remember this guy was trying it on with me, looking back i guess i was an easy target. First he asked me out for dinner and I politely refused, then he said 'fancy a f**k then', so in my most patronising voice i replied 'no, but thanks for asking' before flouncing off.
Might not sound much, but made me feel great that I didn't get flustered etc.

climbingrosie · 04/12/2006 14:48

justaquestion - it's all about your attitude!

If you feel like a soft target, you will give off signals to others that you are, so they will treat you that way!

If you think "to hell with what people think, I'm a single mum and I'm a great mum and a strong person who is coping with way more than most people cope with and doing fine" then this will be evident in your body language and signals you give off and people will treat you accordingly!! IMO anyway!

It is really hard being a single parent ans we survive so much more and have to deal with som much more than many couples who are paretns, so we are strong and can deal with more than most! Remember this, don't let people walk all over you! Even if you feel fragile and timif inside, you can portray a different body image etc. by pretending to yourself that you are a stronger more assertive person. Acting works wonders believe me!!!

HOpe you are ok!

whatwouldjesusdo · 04/12/2006 16:25

to pick up on AmazinWoman's post from the other thread - we had neighbours like that as well (Maybe you live 2 doors from us!!)
Always trying to push us, and see how much they could get away with.

At the start, I was married with my ex, and he made it clear to them that we werent going to be bullied. Then, they tried it again, when he left and they thought he wasnt coming back. Now, I have to do it myself. Point being, that these neighbours are just like that.
I used to find it hard to stand up for myself. My ex advised me not to stand for any nonsense, but to call the police, so I have done, twice now.
Example being when they threw razor blades and a bag containing someone's beard clippings into my garden, just where my toddlers play. This was after ex h left, and I am sure it was some sort of macho bullying, as well as dangerous. Police were very nice, and had a word with the neighours, who were not chuffed at having the panda car outside their door, oddly enough.

Another time, I called the police after a neighbour deliberately sprayed mud all over my car. When I went to ask them why they did it, they laughed in my face. Again, the police were v nice about it and had Words with the neighbour. Not sure what they said, but it hasnt happened again.

I do find it hard to be assertive, and it is definitely one of the hardest things about being a lone parent, having to do it all myself. I really envy people who can react with the right amount of aggression by instinct.

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