Starting to think about Christmas (sorry)

[ColdToastHotTea]

Hello

Its my first year as a LP and not sure how Christmas is going to work.

I want there to be as little upheaval / chaos as possible for LO who is a toddler. I want it to be as fair as possible for both parents.

exP will need to drive 200 miles to take LO to his parents at some point. I was thinking I could have LO xmas eve and xmas morning, then exP could drive them both to his parent's for xmas dinner and boxing day. Does that seem fair?

How do you do yours?

We do similar to that but there isn't a massive drive in between. I suppose it doesn't matter so much now but in future years, is your DC going to want to spend that long in the car on Christmas Day?

Thanks Belle.

Yes the long trip worries me for the future but I think he's a bit young now and would find it exciting. Maybe. Oh I don't know.

My sister is divorced and she has the dcs one Xmas and the following year the ex had them
The partner who doesn't have them at Xmas always has them at new year
I guess an official divorce means its all written down do no cause for arguements as its all set in legal stone so to speak

Yeah that's the other option. It'll be really difficult for the parent who is left alone on Christmas day, but I guess that's just par for the course

And of course deciding who gets lo this Christmas...

We do the same every Xmas. If it is ex's day to have the kids on Xmas Eve, he has them until about 4pm, but if not, then he doesn't. So I have them Xmas Eve night then all day Xmas Day. He has them from 10am Boxing Day until teatime on the 27th. New Year's Eve is the same - if it's his day to have them he does, or if not he has them overnight on the 1st.

My first christmas alone with DS, my ex didnt care what we did, so I took DS to my parents. This year he's saying he wants him, so I have agreed that DS wakes up with me (in his own bedroom) christmas morning, then goes to his dads Christmas day afternoon and sleeps over, coming home again Boxing day. He's yet to stay one night with his dad, so waiting tentatively to see what happens next! Still, i think your proposal is perfectly fine, but I wouldnt be keen to drive children too far on Christmas day, it's not the best day to travel. Still, you could make it into an adventure for them? Or could you recreate christmas day on christmas eve? Or, Agree for childrens dad to pick them up boxing day morning?

There's being fair to both parents and then there is what is fair to a toddler. Perhaps you could ask for this year to have DC and then just adapt arrangements each year as DC grow and their wishes and needs change? xx best of luck xx whatever happens I am sure you will make it magical for your children.