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Original poster

House/Home

12 replies

charlybear7 · 28/08/2015 10:20

Hi there, I wondered if anyone knew of any experiences to do with forcing the sale of a house once the relationship (not married) has ended. I have a 4 year old and a 3 month old and my ex who left me whilst pregnant wants to sell our home. We bought it together 50/50 and obviously now he wants out.

I've worked out I can afford to pay the mortgage, bills etc but would need his name still in the mortgage as the banks wouldn't allow for me to solely take on the mortgage on my salary.

I'm not keen to sell as this is mine and my children's home and I don't see what financial security renting would be for us. I have worked hard all my life to own my own home and don't see why I should give it up. My ex is awful with money and I currently have debt letters arriving at my home. Also need to point out the children haven't seen their father in 6 wks with no communication.

Anyone know if it's possible to keep their ex on the mortgage but for them to have no responsibility to it it entitled to any profit when I sell in 20 years or so?

Many thanks

OP posts:
Bellemere · 28/08/2015 12:57

You'd be better off posting this in Legal Matters but tbh you probably need proper legal advice. My understanding is that you are far less protected if you weren't married and it's very unlikely that he would be forced to remain on the mortgage and have no claim on it upon selling it. Also if he's on the mortgage and becomes so bad with debts that he goes bankrupt, you could lose your home.

cestlavielife · 30/08/2015 17:01

You can't expect him to stay on mortgage and not be entitled to profit... he can take you to court to force a sake under Tolata.
You can counter claim under children's act to stay or to get larger share of equity for the dc (to be repaid when they finish education) but if you can't afford the mortgage on your own you may just have to sell. You need to get all figures together how much mortgage how much equity. Where he can live where you can live. If you sell and split equity what can you buy ? Where will kids live ? and get legal advice.

Also if he is awful with money and you joint own still then you could lose home anyway. ..sell up and use equity to get smaller place ?

You both have equal rights to the house and equity.. but you can claim under children's act. Reality is tho that if you can't take on mortgage alone he needs to be happy to stay tied to you financially. You may have to sell . But get legal advice. And look at what mortgage you could get alone. And what you could buy.

Original poster
charlybear7 · 02/09/2015 08:38

Thanks for your comment.

I can afford the mortgage on my own but in the eyes of the bank my salary isn't enough to get a mortgage big or small!

So if we sold I'd use equity to rent but that would soon run out and then what?

I wouldn't expect him to be financially responsible for the mortgage. I wouldn't need a penny off him just what he has to pay for the children - csa. I was hoping to get something written up by a solicitor saying that he has no ties financially but I just need his name their so we can stay in our home!

He is in the forces and goes away for 9 months at a time every 2 years. So it's not as straight forward to know when he'll see the children etc.

Currently he hasn't seen them for 7 wks as he was due to organise a contact centre and hasn't. We haven't heard from him at all.

Confusing for my 4 yr old who starts school next week x

OP posts:
Bellemere · 02/09/2015 08:59

That doesn't make sense - you are asking him to have a financial tie and one that puts both of you at risk. You're asking him to be legally liable for the mortgage with no benefit (even if you indemnify him, the mortgage company will still go after him if you default). And you're putting yourself at risk staying on a mortgage with a man who is bad with debt as your house becomes his asset that may be used if he goes bankrupt. I assume he can also continue to use the house to obtain secured loans which also puts your house at risk if he defaults on those.

Renting isn't bad - lots of people do it. When the equity runs out, you pay with your wages/tax credits/housing benefit.

Why a contact centre? Is he a risk to the children?

godsavethequeeeen · 02/09/2015 09:01

Bit of a long shot but have you tried a mortgage broker? They might be able to sort out a mortgage.

Original poster
charlybear7 · 02/09/2015 10:10

No I'm not wanting him to be legally liable for anything. I am wanting to have a legal agreement written up saying he has no tie financially to the mortgage just has his name on it. I was just asking if anyone knew if this was possible and whether this had been agreed before. I am seeing a solicitor next week.

I know renting isn't bad, however we have over 100k equity in our home and that kind of money I couldn't save. So seems pointless to me to pay someone else's mortgage when i can afford my own, just whilst on mat leave and whilst my youngest is not at school due to paying childcare which my ex won't pay!

Our mortgage is a lot less than renting!

Can you blame me for fighting for mine and my childrens home after my ex walked out on me whilst pregnant?

I will do anything to keep it as this is their financial stability.

OP posts:
hattyhatter · 02/09/2015 10:16

If he's this hostile a clean break might be better. Have you thought about shared ownership?

Original poster
charlybear7 · 02/09/2015 10:31

I'd love a clean break.

What's shared ownership?

OP posts:
Bellemere · 02/09/2015 10:40

No I cannot blame you but legally it is not possible - he has a contract with the mortgage company and the reason they won't take him off it is because you can't afford it according to their affordability criteria. The best you can do is offer to indemnify him but if you defaulted, as I said, the mortgage company would still go after him. It is a risky position for him to be in.

It is also a huge risk for you if he goes bankrupt. I don't know why you would want to remain financially linked to him, which you would be if he remains on the mortgage. This means all his bad debt will affect your future credit agreements.

cestlavielife · 02/09/2015 17:22

look into selling and putting the 100k on eg shared ownership or a smaller property. you could for example get a clean break settlement between you and purchase a buy to let then use the income to help pay your rent if the property isnt big enough.

the reality is you cant be on a mortgage but not be tied to it.

what mortgage can you get and what can you purchase with that mortgage if you were to have the 100k equity to house you and dc? (you would likely have to agree to pay your ex back his share of equity when dc finish education -that could be expressed a s a % of the property value.

of course you could just sit tight and wait for court orders which is what my ex has done - i moved out am renting; am on mortgage with him; he could not pay it alone - he wont budge and i need to go back to court to get bailiffs in to chuck him out. this is costing me even more money ...

so you can gain time by doing nothing, letting him take it to court and then not moving out nicely and waiting for him to get bailiffs in to chuck you out/ and/or arguing in court that you need to stay with dc.

Letitgoletitgo · 20/09/2015 08:31

Not sure legally how it would work, but is there someone else who could act as a guarantor for the mortgage so you could take his name off? A relative?

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