Not sure where am going with this but wanted to air a thought.....
I split from ex dh officially October 2013 - but we ve had to share a house on an off till now due to a family commitment/monetary obligation.
He's finally moving out next week, can't wait.
But it come to a point where I'm really worn down mentally.
I feel grubby, used and still full of so much hate for him for the loss of family life.
This is my second marriage to end due to dh's cheating- first with a woman the second with money, lies and probably cheating too.
I've picked myself up to a certain point and am far happier without him in my life .... But I hate that our son(7yrs) care arrangements still need us to maintain contact.we argue incessantly if in same company for more than an hr as his behaviour and actions are just so unreasonable.
Anyway I guess it's all fine from next week , I can go back to not having him in my house..but how do I ever get over the mental scars? I feel so shit about myself.my looks, my age(40 in October, although happy to be 40) my circumstances- yes I have a good job and survive ok but my house Worn around the edges..... Even I'm worn around the edges
How will I ever trust another male again? How will I ever trust another male to show my horrible veiny legs too :-/ And it's hard to explain but just so grubby?! I didn't seem to have this feeling the first time round with first marriage ending (I was 27 at split up) I picked myself up quickly then - I guess it just age /mental fatigue now??
Sorry for the garbled rant..... Does anyone out there sort of understand where I'm coming from?