Feeling unhappy and envious :-(

[MyIronLung]

I know it's not the done thing to admit to being jealous or envious but I am. I can't help it.
I know I'm incredibly lucky to have my dc and I also know that things could be much much worse but...

I'm fed up of living hand to mouth and not being able to afford luxuries that everyone else I know has (but logically thinking, I know not everybody has these things).
My Sky TV (I know, I know. so not an essential!) is being cut off this week. I got it when I was in a better financial position (not great but better than now) and I got it at a huge 75% discount. I don't have a social life, I don't go out, have take aways, holidays, shopping trips or anything that I see others enjoying, so I justified the £35 a month that it was going to cost me. When I called to cancel I was offered so many deals to keep Sky TV but I just can't afford it, even at a hugely discounted price.

I know there're people going without meals (I do on a regular basis, hence the cutting out the one luxury I have) so this really is a first world problem, but it just feels like utter shit to not be able to have this one thing. As I said, I don't ever go out so in a way it was my social life . I'm also a bit sad that the films I've recorded for DS (4) will go poof and I'll have to explain to him that he can't watch them anymore. I certainly can't afford to buy them as dvds.

Ok, self indulgent moan over with. Time to get on with it as usual

I feel as tho I could've written this myself! Xx

I can relate...

...but when did you last have to pick up a grown man's poo-striped pants for the laundry?

Not a lot of help but what about signing up for a months free Netflix or now TV???

I was left in dire straits when I split with exdp. I can relate. I still don't go out or spoil myself now 6 yrs later and I'm in a better position than what I was and am happy with out having to clean up after an extra "child"

I too am a single parent and I totally agree, it's really tough especially on the financial front. However, I sit and listen to my friends go on about what they have to 'put up with' from their partners and then I am glad to go back to my singledom again. Everything in life is a compromise.....swings and roundabouts.....you win on some counts but lose on others.
I saved up and got a Freesat box. I know it's nowhere near as good as Sky tv but I had to do something once, like you, I was forced to cancel the subscription. I Can record loads of programmes and record all my DSs fave programmes and films so he can watch them over and over.
Yeah, being poor sucks but it's wonderful not to be harassed by 'the other half', so it ain't all bad.

Thanks for not telling me to get a grip!

No I definitely don't miss looking after a man-child and that includes picking up skiddy undies [vom face] .

I'm going to look into a trial TV package and just see how it goes. At least I won't be bound to a contract.

It just completely sucks being in this position. I certainly didn't plan to be a lp, but then who of us did?! It's been 4 years for me now and if I'm honest, things have gone from bad to worse financially but I keep telling myself that this won't last forever. Fingers crossed!

& for you all.

I cant even afford a tv liscence :(

I've got Sky package but works out better to get the movies on NowTV. I bought the box for £20 which included a 2 month movie pass ,and then I cancelled so they offered it to me for £6.99 a month (usually £10 a month ). You'd have the films for your son then. That's assuming you've got Internet ,of course.

It is so so so so important to Treat Yo' Self (sorry, just watched an episode of Parks and Rec ...)

Seriously though, no matter how small, you need to allow yourself the occasional luxury. For me today, it was buying a massive Galaxy bar from Asda for £1.

I do the Price Guarantee thing where you pop in your receipt code and if your comparable products weren't at least 10% cheaper in Asda than the other 3 main supermarkets, then they give you a voucher to immediately print off and use against your next instore shop.

I printed one of earlier for £1.07 :)

So these vouchers are mine. I use them to get myself something chocolatey. On the occassions when they are only 17p each etc, I save them up. Once I got a voucher for £4-odds and bought myself a large tub of Ben and Jerry's.

Anyway, if you don't already do the Asda Price Guarantee - it's a great way to give yourself 'free' treats.

Cable/Satellite TV packages are very expensive. I felt the same as you when I had to get rid of my Virgin TV deal a few years ago. Since then, I no longer have live TV which means I was also able to cancel my Tv License.

I subscribed to Netflix instead for £6.99 a month. And took out a great 'new customer' deal for TalkTalk which gave me dirt cheap broadband. That deal has now expired though so I'll have to shop around again.

Our local library often have newly released DVDs for rent. Though these can be about £2 for newer ones. Whereas older films start from 25p to rent.

I read on here a few weeks ago something that has really stuck with me and helps me on days when I'm feeling down and envious.

I'll paraphrase: "Don't think how some people have so much more than you do, think of how much more you have than others."

They said it better.

Exactly what Heyday said. I'm in the same boat as you OP, but rather that than be still stuck in a boat with a difficult ex H

forever is that now TV? Yes I have internet. When I was cancelling I was going to cancel the lot but needed to keep my landline as I don't have a mobile. The chap I spoke to ended up giving me a great deal on unlimited broadband and landline.

mak I've been toying with the idea of just getting rid of the lot, including the tv to try and save something up (even if it's just the £12 a month from the license). I'd love to take ds on a holiday next year and unless I cut even more stuff out its not going to happen. Unfortunately I'm at the point of not having anything of worth left to sell from my not-poor years and even a caravan 20 miles from my home costs mega £££!

Shit I'm sorry. You NEED some treats, some things that are simply there for fun. Which films does your DS love? My DS is a bit obsessed with minions.

I haven't done the price guarantee so thanks for that. You're so right, even just a £1 bar of chocolate would be a lovely treat that I wouldn't allow myself usually.

champagne Ds adores Wreck it Ralph and the Madagascar films I'm going to get them for him second hand off eBay I think. Luckily I still have about £20 of birthday money I got a couple of months ago (I'm terrible at spending money on myself when I get some for birthday/Christmas because I worry that something will happen I'll need it!)I know it'll be ok, it's just an adjustment.

Yes myironlung NOWTV. You buy the set top box from tesco , asda , argos etc... Make sure you pick up the movie one , doesn't really matter if you pick a entertainment one up ,or sports ,but that way you get the 2 month free movie pass

Hi all,

I totally agree on this post an was going to post similar thread myself!!

Can I add another thought getting better of me.....
I look around my house and can see everywhere needs a touch up of decorating/lick of paint.
Things need renewing in garden , appliances too.....
It got me thinking when will I ever be able to afford this again?

When will I go on a nice holiday again....
All of those things??:-(

Another divorced parent here. I am really sorry you are going through a bad patch, I have those everynow and then. So I thought i would mention some cheap ways to have fun:

• if you are not working, make some sandwiches, get a ball and have a picnic in the park after school pick up.
• go to the library, you can even read a magazine while DS plays in a computer or checks the books.
• Go to bed at the same time as DS, you will wake up hours earlier than him and you can use that quiet time to have a coffee with a good book in bed, do yoga, or go through shores super quick while DS is out of the way.
• find a nice carboot sale. When DS was young, we used to get to one early in the morning. We had a nice walk and

DS used to bring a bag full of toys for £1

• holidays, if you are flexible you can go away for peanuts. We have got tickets to London and Edinburgh for £16 return for the two if us (we couldn't afford to stay but one museum visit for me and a museum/activity for him used to break the routine nicely). Spend a night in a nice YHA hostel for £50 for 4 people including breakfast. The trick is to book well in advance.
• house stuff: keep your eyes open, carboots, charity shops, recicle centres and even the odd skip can be treasure troves (But never get anything you won't be proud to see at home).
• charity shops are great, but to keep the moral up, only buy things that you absolutely love OR that look great AND that look new.
• Do a weekly meal plan and cook from scratch, if you have a plan, you save a lot of money because nothing goes to waste.
• make sure DS goes to bed at a reasonable time so you can have friends around. I run TheTigerIsOut's traditional cheese evening regularly, I just get a camembert (£1), a baguette or two (£0.80), a jar of caramelised onion chutney from Aldi (£1.30) and if green grapes are cheap, a punet (i let the visits choose the wine... At the supermarket of course). I pop the camembert in the oven with some garlic and serve everything on a big wooden shopping board. It looks great, is very filling and you spend less than a fiver. (And even better, no work!)
• Make the effort to meet other single parents, it does feel so nice to have a cup of coffee and some adult conversation with someone that understands where are you comming from, while the children play with each other.

Shopping board? Good grief... Chopping even!

We've never had sky, but used a sky box to get all the free channels.
Sometimes being a SP was hell: so hard to struggle financially as you say, but it is more than offset by the massive relief of not dealing with all the crap which comes from living with the wrong partner.
£35 a month saving will get you a sun holiday in only 2 months.

It does get better. It can take years, but honestly, things work out somehow.
Tigerisout is spot on about inviting friends over once the kids are in bed. I was a member of a book group; explained that I really wasn't in a position to pay babysitters but was happy to host, and they bowled up with food and good cheer regularly.
I have a lovely new husband now, but look back on the (latter part of) my SP days with affection in spite of it being so hard.

Thanks everyone. This thread has really helped me to not feel so alone (and so sorry for myself )

I like the idea of meeting up with other sps. I might see what's going on in my area

gohack yes I totally get that! I keep telling myself that things won't always be so tough, but while you're in the middle of it it's hard to stay positive.

theTiger thanks for some great ideas!

to all of you it is so hard when it's relentless year in year out. I'm not in the same boat as you guys and I still get when listen to some colleagues moan about financial things they can't afford whilst living in very ££££ homes with very small mortgages and they have so many options available to them.

So many people seem utterly clueless to how a notable percentage of the populations have to live.

Have you got a long term plan?

What helped me was knowing that it was a short term thing and that soon enough I'd have a job & more money. I know the economy is worse now but I still think having a plan makes it easier to get through the hard times.