Is it realistic to be lone parent working FT with 2 young DC?

[williaminajetfighter]

Partner and I are separating after 10 years. I have one child in school and a 1 year old dd in FT nursery as I work FT. Now that I'm going it alone I'm not sure I'll be able to cope working FT but my job doesn't lend itself to part time and daycare is so expensive I feel I have to keep working.

Am I nuts? Will I be able to do this? Are there any lone parents with young children working full time?

Ps I don't have family around or any other help
I want to keep thing

I did it -mine are 11&13 now but I had them both full time with a childminder while I worked full time

It's hard work, you have to be super organised and accept that you will spend a lot of time feeling guilty but for me there was no alternative

Yes it's possible and definitely preferable to being reliant on tax credits or having a big gap in your employment history.

My DC are 5 and 2 and I work FT but I've negotiated flexible working hours. I have core hours spread over 4 days where I have to be in the office, then additional hours that I can work whenever I need to to bring me up to the FT total.

WRT childcare costs, I'm looking forward to DC2 turning 3! Don't forget also that your H also needs to cover his fair share of the school holidays. It isn't just up to you.

try it. if you can manage it then i think it might be better for you mentally and financially and in terms of your long term life staying on track.

it will of course be hard to juggle and manage (though temporary as children get older, both are at school or before that you start to get some 'free' nursery taken off your bill etc) but to be honest staying at home, giving up your work and your life outside of being a mother etc is bloody hard too especially on top of losing a marriage i'd say.

if it isn't working after 6 months then review but i'd say you have enough change and loss right now and hanging onto your job, interactions with colleagues, even half an hours free time at lunch and bit of head space whilst driving/walking to and from is worth trying.

single parent here myself.

Definitely possible. I do it and got an au pair. Really helps as I don't need to do picks ups and drops off before and after work.

Kids all bathed and in pjs so I can do the nice things when I get home

Thx for all your responses! Alice, how much does an au pair cost if you don't mind me asking?

As PP say, it's not just up to you. If you and your STBXH are both working FT, you need to split the childcare (and childcare costs) 50:50. This might mean the DC living with you and your STBXH paying for a FT nanny.

Au pair costs about £80-100 a week in pocket money. Plus there are other costs, eg food, bills.

In total, it's £750 a month and I split this cost 50/50 with my ex.

So the cost to me personally is £375 a month.

It works well as she does 1 night's babysitting a week and if I'm held up at work, I know she's there at home.

Happy to PM if you want to know more.

An au pair at £100 a week can't look after newborn twins and a toddler.

Sorry wrong thread

Ps. Only thing I would say is au pairs aren't usually meant for really little ones - they're not experienced nannies as such. It's a lot to ask them to look after a 1 year old all day but if you can combine with some nursery time, could be ok.

Ok thx malice!

I've always been a ft working mum doing shift work in one of the London services.

It's been very very tough/heartbreaking/mentally draining........ But what choice is there?
About 6-7 yrs ago every mother I knew was working pt or home full time... And I felt I was being cheated... They could be at every play, sports day etc whilst I had to exchange shifts , take a days a/l etc and i felt like giving in- especially going to work and dealing with some of the rudest/lowest mannered ppl too but I'm still here working as it gets a little easier each year.i don't have much money, not enough to go on holidays abroad, new cars, but enough to coast the stresses of say a washing machine breaking or similar.
I had to use breakfast an after school club which cost me £310 a month (edge of London prices) and am always changing shifts etc to fit in life!!
My ds is 7 so I'm hoping another 3 yrs till senior sch and he can then walk to and from sch to save on any more childcare costs!!
He was in nursery from 6 months old and that used to cost £1100 a month (luckily his looser dad was around then to help pay).

In summary , my phone calendar/notes/reminder settings and home calendar and diary are my best friends! I have a what's app group of all the school mummies where we remind each other if it's Xmas jumper day etc the day before which helps.
It's bloody tough op but I don't see I have a choice- if I leave job, there's nothing out there paying me the same or job security and at least I'm able to not worry over essentials of food heating petrol etc I just worry over the emotional things of when am I gonna ever find time to meet someone - when will I get money/time to decorate my house etc but in the grand scheme of things there's ppl a lot worse off.as the saying goes "there's no one coming to rescue you".... If only?!? So for now I'm head down to the wind/rain/whatever's been thrown at me and muddling through the only way I know how!

I think is doable and essential. At the end of the day, it is difficult to predict in the early stages of a split, what life would be like a few years later. So try to keep your income high as this will have a big impact in the opportunities you and your children have in the future. It is not only about being able to pay for holidays, it is about being able to stand up on your own if it needs be.

Don't forget that, if you are a lone parent, you can get help to pay up to 70% of your nursery fees from tax credits. Having said that, a good aupair will be a blessing but they cannot really be expected to care for children full time. So it might be a good idea to use nursery and after school care first, and switch to an aupair when both kids are at school.