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Original poster

Starting out alone with a baby

11 replies

AmyAmy1980 · 09/08/2015 20:46

Hello,

I'm currently in the process of leaving mu husband with an eight month old daughter. I'm living with my parents for the next few months but will then be starting up again on my own. I'm pretty terrified! I'll be going back to work full-time after cutting my maternity leave short - I'm just worried to death about how I'll cope. I guess I will just have to. Can anyone give me a positive story about how things went after a break up? I'm feeling bery low now thinking about the future.

OP posts:
DressingGown · 09/08/2015 22:07

I slung XP out when dd was 4 months old and went back to work part-time and then full-time when she was 7 months. I leant to drive in my lunch hours (only 20 years later than most). I got a promotion at work. Dd is now 2. XP takes her every other weekend now. And whilst I miss her terribly while she's away, those 2 days every fortnight have vastly improved my sanity. It's been a long, hard road, with some very dark days. But it gets easier. And I absolutely 100% wouldn't change a thing now (although it'd be great if XP lived nearby and could take dd on a week night; I fantasise about being able to do a gym class!). I'm very contended. And a bit smugly proud of having made it out the other side. Advice: come on here to chat. Don't be afraid to ask people to help in real life (a bit of advice I should have listened to myself... And still am bad at). Good luck. You'll be great. Thanks

DressingGown · 09/08/2015 22:11

Oh, and right now don't worry about the future. I found just living day to day and trying not to think about things as permanent saved me from a lot of my own anxiety. Easier said than done, I know. It gets easier, honest.

MarySlessor · 12/08/2015 18:29

I have been on my own since ds was a baby and he is now 7. I am perfectly happy. Ds is doing well at school. We are moving soon to a little house with a little garden and we are both very excited. Since ds was born we have been living in a flat. I have worked and we have a good social life with other parents and children.

I have had days/weeks/months where it has been difficult. Especially when I found out ds had autism. That was a difficult time but it has made us stronger. Ds and I are happy and I honestly wouldn't change a thing.

PrancingQueen · 12/08/2015 23:33

I've been on my own since I told DS's father I was pregnant and got the elbow Hmm
I also moved house 3 times before DS was 1...
I'm now back living and working in my home town, DS is 3 and thriving.
I was lucky as he was as easy as a baby can be.
As a Dressing said, don't worry about the future, one step at a time and you'll be fine. Your confidence will grow, and you'll have a lovely close relationship with your DD as well.

twirlypoo · 12/08/2015 23:37

I'm another one who has been on her own since pregnancy. Honestly you will be fine. I'm not going to lie, it's hard work, but ds is 3 now and a total joy! He sleeps (well, mostly) and is great company. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other - always have frozen bread and long life milk in, Keep supplies of calpol at all times, and just go for it. We are all here rooting for you and for a natter when ever you need it. Good luck Thanks

laura0007 · 21/08/2015 13:57

I've been on my own since pregnancy too and my DS is a joy. he's 18m now and is completely worth every night spent crying into my pillow when he was tiny because I thought I couldn't cope. I have coped and he is truly amazing and I can take 100% responsibility for the little person he has become. You can do it Smile

yorkshirejo · 16/09/2015 23:02

Hi AmyAmy1980 (I can't tag you for some reason!), I'm in similar boat to you right now.

Currently living with XP whilst I sort accommodation out for 14mo DS and myself. I am utterly terrified of being alone. Of everything that lies ahead really. Some great advice in the posts above! Hope you're OK X X X

CalypsoLilt · 22/09/2015 09:19

thank you for this thread, i'm pregnant and considering ending the relationship with the babies father. good to know i am not alone and it is possible Flowers

octobersunshine · 30/09/2015 10:48

This thread has cheered me up massively. I've found out I'm pregnant and ex doesn't want to know. Anyone been a single parent in London? How do you budget?

CalypsoLilt · 30/09/2015 10:52

Have ended it with OH and he's cut all ties, not replying to messages and didn't show at the scan yesterday. I think I'll start a "Single and Pregnant Support Thread"!!

When are you due Octobersunshine?

octobersunshine · 30/09/2015 11:06

CalypsoLilt, you definitely should start a forum! Am sure it will make every feel less alone.

I'm not due until May so very early stages of pregnancy at the moment. So much to contend with and to think about.

Have been in touch with a young woman in a similar situation about the possibility of a house share in London which sounds promising...

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