This is the first thread I've posted I feel I could do with some support it may help. The main problem I'm having is surrounding childcare and lack of support financially or otherwise. I work 12 hour night shifts 2 times a week which was ok as I was in a relationship where my ex would come home have the kids I would go to work and I'd get home in time for him to go to work. We had been together for 3 years and I've been doing nights for just over a year. Recently 4 months ago we decided to separate. The pressure of his own business and never having time for each other. My 2 girls are not his. Since the split he slowly moved out to his mums where he is unhappy and offers regularly to have the children when i work as he knows I panick over childcare but since the split he goes to work evey day and goes in earlier and comes back later making it difficult to have the kids for me. I appreciate his help but wonder if it's him not fully letting go of us as it feels unhealthy to keep up some kind of semi relationship? I want a clean break but feel like I need him to help. My youngest goes to her biological dads every fortnight for one night. I can't get him to have her any more as he is hostile about letting him know. It upsets me because my daughter doesn't really seem keen to go to him. He has married a nice older woman moved into her house she works he doesn't and doesn't claim or go anywhere and so I stopped getting csa over 3 years ago and even then it was only 5 pound a month. I drive her to and from his house so I really do everything otherwise I don't know if she would see him. My eldest daughter has never met her dad so no financial support there either. Clearly I have made some poor choices of partners in the past but I thought I'd found a good one this time. So my only other options for childcare are family when I ask to drop off and pick up on the way to and from work I can tell for example my mum wants to say no and often does. If I could get chdcare for nights I would? My rents just gone up in starting counceing soon for depression and I'm already worried about childcare for that as I don't want tell anyone I'm going. On top of this I keep feeling obligated and pressured to cover extra shifts at work. If I say no to helping cover I'm outcastes at work. I haven't bought my personal problems to work so they don't know I have problems every time they ask me it's a huge disruption to say yes. I've started self harming another reason for counselling. Please someone help me with any advice or similar situation so I know I'm not alone ????