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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

since ds, i feel at a loose end. Any Ideas?

32 replies

meandthomas · 03/05/2004 20:57

Hi, since the birth of my ds I feel I have lost my identity. His dad and I are no longer together (my choice not ex-p) and I guess I am just feeling incredibly alone. During the day no one is around and I feel really isolated.In the evenings I am too tired to do anything. If anyone has any ideas, support or advice, it'll all be greatly recieved....

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twiglett · 03/05/2004 21:12

message withdrawn

Original poster
meandthomas · 03/05/2004 21:40

Hes 6 months now, thanks twiglett

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tammybear · 03/05/2004 23:01

I often feel like that meandthomas. I live on my own with dd. I broke up with ex about 8 months ago, and although I have a dp, he doesnt live locally, so only see him every so often.

Often during the day I feel quite lonely, and sometimes I feel too timid to go out. Im a young mum at the age of 19 u see, so I often get a lot of looks from people. It hasnt bothered me at all until now for some reason.

I want to take my dd to a parent and toddler group but I feel a little scared, as I dont want to go and everyone think badly of me because Im young. Sounds stupid I know.

Im trying to get past this phase, by trying to take dd out more, especially now with the nice weather coming. Take your ds to the park to feed the ducks. I know he's only 6 months, but I was doing that with my dd when she was that age, and she seemed quite happy watching them swim about. Do you know any other mums in your area that you could meet up with during the day?

Original poster
meandthomas · 04/05/2004 10:58

No I dont know anyone near me. I'm also 19 and I completely understand what you mean about not wanting to go out. When the weather is good I take my mums dogs out which is nice but nothing I do seems to take away that lonely feeling.

I'm going to try and go to a mother and toddler group near me on monday....

Where abouts do you live Tammybear? Ive seen you on the thread about a meet up in herts.

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tammybear · 04/05/2004 13:13

I live in Watford, where abouts are you meandthomas?

clary · 04/05/2004 15:01

Oh meandthomas (and Tammybear) I do feel so sad about this thread. So sorry you are feeling low and lonely, parenting is hard enough anyway and can be really isolating at the best of times. Sensible words from Twiglett as ever; I personally found a lot of friends from NCT groups but of course a lot of the people inthe NCT are older, no denying it...but do try toddler groups, they won't look down on you i'm sure, be glad to see you i would think. Or babygym, swimming etc as Twiglett says. It's hard I know but worth the effort to make a new set of friends. good luck.

Original poster
meandthomas · 04/05/2004 15:20

im in potters bar. I drive which helps... maybe we could do something do something new together tammybear?

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tammybear · 04/05/2004 22:14

yea that would be cool meandthomas. ive got driving test on july 5 so ill hopefully be able to get round places soon, that is if i have nething to drive lol. what do u fancy doing?

misdee · 04/05/2004 22:23

can we join u too? not a lone parent but need friends (god do i sound desperate??). me and the family are in hatfield.

Original poster
meandthomas · 04/05/2004 22:46

I dont mind... As I drive I'll happily come and either pick you up or do something near you if thats easier.
Sure you can join us misdee... any ideas on what you fancy doing?
good luck for your driving test. passed mine when I was 7months pregnant!!!

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Ixel · 04/05/2004 22:48

Hi Meandthomas... me and ds are a bit far away, in north London. But if you're ever this way, i'd love a chat, or you could get in touch with a phone number... we're on that Bt together thing, so my calls are free up to an hour! There's also a meet up on 11th if you'd like a day out! See the thread for more details.

misdee · 04/05/2004 22:49

how old are u're kids? mine are 4yrs and 20months. not much to do in hatfield. i have driving lessons atm and will hopefully pass my test b4 the end of summer, so should be fairly flexiable bout things.

Original poster
meandthomas · 04/05/2004 23:05

Like I said I'm quite happy to drive. I can pick you up on the way through perhaps?
Ds is 6months...

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tammybear · 04/05/2004 23:09

My dd is 16 months

Original poster
meandthomas · 04/05/2004 23:34

any ideas about what you fancy doing tammybear?
I'm avoiding going to bed at the mo...Ds keeps waking up!

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tammybear · 05/05/2004 00:22

Im not too bothered meandthomas. Somewhere the kids will enjoy too! I dont know too many places around here, except the park! lol

Original poster
meandthomas · 05/05/2004 08:18

me neither....hmm..will have a think...

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essbee · 05/05/2004 16:32

Message withdrawn

tammybear · 05/05/2004 20:27

Here are two lists of indoor and outdoor places that children are welcome to.

first link or second link

Original poster
meandthomas · 05/05/2004 22:28

...what about hatfield house? I haven't been there for ages.....

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Original poster
meandthomas · 05/05/2004 22:32

Paradise wildlife park looks good too.... more of an all day thing though...
That link is really good, thanks for it.
Hope you are ok, look forward to seeing you soon

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tammybear · 05/05/2004 23:16

Ive been to Paradise park. Went a few years ago. Really nice there. Be great for a sunny day out!

chloemummy · 10/05/2004 15:26

I have been a lone parent from the start. My partner did not want to know when I got pregnant... My dd is now 3.7 months. Have you got a local Sure Start in your area. When my dd was a baby I felt extremely isolated. I found a nice coffee shop in the town and we used to visit there two to three times per week.. Then I joined Surestart parents group and I eventually became the chair. I also joined in on activities for e.g. music makers and slowly you get to know other mothers in your local area. I kwym when you say that couples tend to want to spent time with their kids and you can feel a bit like a gooseberry or you only see them in the week. Not always though some couples work shifts so other mothers are on their own at weekends. I go to the park, playgrounds, talk to people. Take her to toddlers bounce and as I say slowly it gets easier as you build up a network. The most lonely time I find is in the evenings.. Get fed up of watching the tele or surfing the net. I would like to meet up with other people... I live in east london.

chloeb2002 · 12/05/2004 21:14

Hello there sorry but i live in north yokshire so a bit far to meet up! BUt to throw another idea in the melting pot, i was still in australia and found a differnt problem, i was 26 when i had d and all my mates are married aand for that reason i felt isolated. I decided to get a new life and be me, i have never been good at school but i took the plunge and did an access to higher education programme, the work was hard and a big comitment but now im a tudent nurse and loving it!! The best part of going back to college was meeting new people, lthough some were happily married, others were divorced and more than a couple were single parents. And the same has happened this year, afew more young free and single girls but generally a real mixing pot. So nursing wont be for the masses but colleges run loads of course, have learning support funds to pay for childcare, books and fuel if you are on benifits so it really is possible!
just a thought!!!

Original poster
meandthomas · 12/05/2004 23:01

Im sorting out going back to college in september actually.. im really looking forward to it. Thanks for the advice though.

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