Pattern of seeing Dad?

[TruckingOn]

Hiya,

I can't see a thread on this so feel free to point me to threads I've missed instead of replying to this one. I know there must have been hundreds of them over the years, just can't find one.

DH has just moved into his new flat this weekend. We're about to work out when they stay with him. He lives in the same small town as we do.

He'd like them Sat night, Sun night and Wed night. I've just done a little calendar on a piece of scrap paper and that, to me, looks like the kids (3 inc a baby) will be doing a lot of toing and froing.

What is the received wisdom about what's best for the kids in terms of how they divide their time?

Hi

I am really sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like it is all still raw. I am now a year on and want to think about YOU as you will be thinking about your DC and know what's best for them, and exH will not be thinking about you.

1. Any pattern you establish now is hard to then change unless your Ex agrees. If god forbid, you do end up in court, then the courts look a lot at established patterns -I agreed to a day every weekend to start with and am now tied and having to work hard to undo it.
2. You can always increase the time they have with their Dad but it is hard to reduce (unless he agrees).
3. In time, you may have a new partner and a new life. You will not want to be tied every weekend.