What can I say to help her

[Twistedheartache]

My 4 year old doesn't want to go to her dad's for the weekend.
He left in March & this will be her 2nd visit (120 miles away)
Her baby sister is staying here with me because she's only 6 months old.
She's been v clingy since he left as you'd expect and doesn't like saying goodbye when grandparents have visited etc

Obviously I don't know your background so don't have a lot to go on here, but I would say that it's really important that you just continue trying to persuade her to go and see her Dad.

If it's only her second visit then it is understandable that she will be a little apprehensive about going, but she is 4 so I am sure she'll be 100% fine once she gets there.

Have you changed your routine much since her Dad left? Or have you tried to stick to a routine as much as possible?

One of my friends had a hard time when her partner left her and started to let bad habits slip into the routine, such as letting herSon stop in her bed at night instead of staying in his own. This ended up causing her all sorts of issues, until she decided enough was enough and started getting strict with him again.

I would say that you just convince her that it will be special Daddy and Daughter time and maybe that will be enough to persuade her it will all be Ok.

Could it be that she is a little jealous because she thinks that her baby sister will be getting all of your attention? Maybe once her sister is going to visit her Dad as well it will become a bit easier and she will be happier about going.

Not sure how much this helps, but hopefully it will. Good luck.

Has she got many things at her dad's yet? Maybe you could help her look out a few toys to take with her?

My DS used to wobble a bit at that she, just reluctance to leave me and his home and all his things. It actually got much better one ex got Cbeebies. You might want to let your ex know she's a bit wobbly about it and suggest he has some small treat (eg an ice cream or something) lined up to help get her out the house without tears.

The other thing we found that helped at that sort of she was to always take them to the other parent's house (rather than having them collected) I think they found it easier to say goodbye to a parent when they were already settling into the other house. Not sure how practical that is for you though if your ex is a long way away. If not you could try and get the baby out the way when she's being picked up (eg napping in another room) to reduce jealousy.

It does get easier

Thank you. They left about an hour ago & she seemed to have come round to the idea - no tears anyway but she was v wobbly this morning.
I've given her the old digital camera so that she can take pics of her adventures and show me when she gets home.
Daddy buying her a new doll for the car might have helped (good luck keeping that up!)
Bless her - it seems so unfair that we get the disruption from him leaving for Ow
Fingers crossed she'll be ok when she gets back on Monday. She'll be spoilt rotten while she's there so probably be begging to stay!