Contact question...

[ilovemilton]

If contact is court ordered to be every Saturday, can I take the children on holiday without applying to the court?

If you want to take the children on holiday over a period of Saturday contact then you either need to reach agreement with the other party or you need to apply to the court. You can't just miss contact because you're going on holiday.

He is refusing to give consent and I can't afford to apply to the court. He is also refusing to let them go to their aunties wedding. I have offered alternative days. Don't know what else to do.

if it's weekly every saturday then book a holiday sunday to friday. or saturday to saturday but arrive late/leave early.

ask him to bring them to auntie's wedding.
if he refuses, keep record of the email.

if kids are old enough they will ask him why they not going. let him explain. if they not old enough to know or realise then you have to explain to family and tell the truth - it's ex's day and he wont bring them.

then, you will have records for later date when you may end up in court.

keep good records. he is trying to make it all about him and for you to get frustrated and cross...you will do better by not allowing this to happen.

by working around it and not letting it get to you you will be stronger. things will change as kids grow up. you will get a chance to arrange it better later.

...seen your other posts - in a way it may help future court hearings if you let him slip up now by not allowing dc to go to the relative's wedding. make sure you request by email in writing and that you get the reply back in writing(email). keep it formal. it will only look bad for him and confirm he not working in the dc best interest - especially if aunt is v involved in their lives. .

forward that to the guardian if still involved or cafcass if you can.

while hugely annoying, better to work round the ordered contact than spend time and money on it, you can take six day holiday instead (might even work out cheaper for flights...or go uk leaving early sunday morning or saturday night after contact. ) make a point of asking for specific holiday, keep his email refusing for your records. (he might argue that as he only seeing them saturday then missing would mean not seeing them for two weeks so unfair... )

Yup, we have to do what cestlavie said. A "week" holiday for us is 5 days. Very few places let you book for 5 days in mid/peak season so we still have to pay for 7 days. You just have to make the best of a bad situation.

Yes it they are very close to auntie. I am bridesmaid and will have to leave midway to collect them also.

I am not suggesting he doesn't see them for two weeks, I offered a variety if options, which he turned down.

How long is the intact for ? If it means they can come to some of the wedding then do that.

It is either live with it or pay £££££ and have argue at court. Is it worth it? If you how you not bothered then he may back off...

Contact is 10-6. Which means everyone is also super pissed off at me leaving halfway through to collect them when I'm a bridesmaid!

Pissed off with you? It's hardly your fault.

Honestly, I'd leave it. I know it's frustrating but this is just how it is sometimes. If you take this to court I'd be worried that they would view you as petty as much as they would view him as inflexible.

agree with headdoctor. you run risk of appearing petty/obstructive

stick to the contact.

go get them at six from the wedding - if it's any size wedding no one will really notice you leaving, to be honest. everyone milling around etc. if they pissed off just smile sweetly and direct them to the judge/court/your ex.

after the ceremony what does a bridesmaid actually do?