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Feel I've wasted my life

2 replies

notenoughbottle · 17/05/2015 23:01

Wasn't sure where to post this. I'm 29 and a single parent to 3, one 9 one 7 and one 2. My first two I had with my ex husband who has made my life hell through court etc since we separated in 2011 and has only just calmed down the last few months. My second partner who I have my youngest with. We separated about three months ago because I felt I didn't love him as much as I could. My eldest couldn't stand him there was no effort made from either. Life felt miserable. Ex partner has no friends and certain members of his family have been against me leading me to be very depressed during my recent pregnancy. Long story which I won't go into as would go on all day. He is younger than me and a real mummy's boy which has led to me feeling I had four children and the job told of a skivvy. I'd just managed to clear the majority of my debt before meeting him and now I'm 8000 back in again mainly due to the sheet cost of living. He had saved large amounts of money which meant I lost my right to legal aid when he moved in with me and amassed about 3000 from court costs again. Since splitting I am actually managing to get on top of it though. I do resent this which hasn't helped our relationship. There is more but I digress again... My two eldest children are hard work. Eldest has additional needs, minor asd in my opinion and they fight constantly, constant noise mess fighting. I do love them all more than the world and if I've got something from the last ten years it is then. However I feel like my life is wasting away in front of me. I have no proper career, I rent, I have no savings, and a degenerative physical health condition. The children are the only thing that is vaguely good. I wanted more from my life and i feel I've wasted the best years of my life. Everything feels out of control the children control everything. I've asked for help from school who have been great with my eldest who is amazingly well behaved and quiet at school but have been told the waiting list is too long. GP doesn't want to know same goes for hv. Was meant to have done women's aid freedom programme and see mental health nurse for CBT but got told I didn't fit the criteria. I Was meant to start the last year of my degree this September, stalled since 2006, but have come to the conclusion that it's going to cost me too much. I always wanted to work in media/tv and now I'm too old to even start. I suppose I need some help on seeing my glass half full rather than half empty.

OP posts:
holdyourown · 18/05/2015 18:27

You may get more help on relationships board just because it has more traffic? MN could move it for you if so. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate with your kids, SN and debt. Try to put aside beating yourself up about things, you're only young and you have your kids and have done most of a degree. I'd aim to finish that and see where it leads, you could still get a job you want at your age, and in a few years when dcs older, life will get easier. It sounds like you need some support though, as well as to offload a bit. Can you see a different GP? I think there are online CBT things you can do, don't know if you've looked in to that? Hope others will be along with advice too Flowers

DressingGown · 03/06/2015 00:34

No useful advice here, but didn't want to pass by. Hang on in there. You never know what's around the corner. I have bouts like this - and I'm 10 years older than you. Easier said than done, but try to focus on "what's next" rather than "why me." (I really need to take my own advice!). Hopefully someone can advise you on what assistance might be available to complete your degree. Good luck.

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