Shared care and school holidays

[makeminemango]

I'm not sure quite where to post this question about sharing care and school holidays. My ex and I share school holidays 50:50. Whilst I agreed via email that he could take the kids to Italy (where some of his family live) the summer holidays, dates were never agreed. He has since booked flights but will be away for 32 nights! My kids are 5 and 7 and I think this is too long to be apart from the other parent (me). I also think it is wrong that he planned to take them out of the country without checking with me about dates. We have just (finally!!) divorced so this is the first time he's done this. I don't know what to do. My family are. In Australia and he has agreed that I take them there for Xmas for 3 weeks. However, we agreed this before I booked. I don't want to set the precedent for booking overseas trips without the other parents consent. We don't get on, and when I tried to talk on the phone about it, he hung up on me. Any thoughts?

I wouldn't agree to this. The longest mine have been away from me was 15 days and it felt like ages!

I don't agree- it's too long for my kids at this age. But I don't know what I can do about this. We went to court for the finance side if the divorce and I'm still feeling the financial pain. But I might need to go back to the solicitors about this. It just seems wrong for him to book tickets without discussing dates with me. Via email he has said he cannot change flights but that's just not true.

He cannot take them out of the country without your permission. Make it absolutely clear that you don't agree and that as a parent with parental responsibility he needs your permission or a court order.

He needs your written consent to do that however in reality will he be stopped by departure staff I think you would need to go back to Court on this however its probably going to escalate a difficult situation make sure you get your Oz holiday agreed in court when you go back. How can ex take that much time off?

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/FAQs/Child-Contact-and-Residence-Custody/Can-my-ex-take-the-children-out-of-the-country.html

He works for the public service so gets lots of holidays. I think I will get legal advice but also make sure I have court permission to go to australia. My ex is very controlling with a huge sense of entitlement so doesn't quite see why I'm interfering with his holidays. I don't mind him going away or the kids spending time with extend family, it's just too long and he needs to tell me first.

i dont think it's too long, many kids are packed off to family in summer holidays for a month or more...my kids went to a bilingual school and many kids were sent back to the home country in europe for the long holidays (eight weeks) to be with relatives. they will be with dad and extended family. it's fine. they will be fine...

and if you want three weeks to oz then you really have to be prepared to agree three weeks to his country with him.

the kids will be fine for a month. presumably they will go to the beach or country, see cousins, have fun...

you could go out in the middle for a weekend to see them if you want to.

it will save you having to organize childcare for those weeks...

the bigger issue tho is not being informed...that is another matter.

i used to go with exp to his country. leave him and kids there, come back to work all summer...then go back again at end of summer holidays... kids were fine... that was before he got v ill (MH issues) and when his mother was alive she was good with dc.

yes it will feel like ages but then so it will when you take them to oz at xmas, for him. the kids will be fine they can skype if they want to.

try and find a way tho to agree dates and times at beginning of year for holidays etc.