My partner and I separated in January. Even though we were arguing for months it all happened quite suddenly and I am still coming to terms with everything. He quickly moved out and found somewhere else to live.
The ex has made suggestions here and there that we could get back together in the future. I don't know if I want to as we had a lot of problems but the relationship doesn't feel like it has properly finished. My head is all over the place and I haven't even told many people about the separation, apart from family & close friends. I guess I feel like a failure. People always said how happy we were and now well it's gone completely wrong. I still see the ex every couple of days because we have a baby together but he still really irritates me - and was for months leading up to the separation.
I feel a bit in limbo in terms of hanging out with friends at the moment. I'm in a town where most of them are mummy friends. Most are having a second baby, talking about when to have a second baby, where they're going on holiday with their partners etc. My older friends who are dotted around the place are also settled down and popping out babies. I'm happy for them but it's all quite depressing for me to hear and I think some are not as responsive as they used to be because of my separation & probably not knowing what to say which makes me quite sad. But then again, I can't pretend everything is fine and chat about second babies right now.
I know a couple of single mums but they are in a completely different place - into dating, looking for a man etc. I'm not in that place either.
I'm finding it difficult to move on, or think about the future because there are lots of question marks hanging over my head. I don't know if I want to get back with ex and have also started thinking that it would be nice to date someone again. Thinking is as far as it goes though. Then when I meet new people and they start asking about my life I don't even know what to say.... Saying I'm single just feels so wrong even though that's exactly what I am right now.
I suppose this all takes time but would love to hear if anyone is or has been in similar position and how/if it changed over time. Thanks