Background: DCs are 5 and 9. I am PWC, he has them 2 nights EOW. This was at his request two years ago. the initial request was EOW and one midweek night every week however after it happening 3/4 times (each time the pick up time was changed and he was still late) he just didnt turn up one evening and never came again. Ive had no explanation. Tbh i let it go as the DCs were being let to stay up gone 11pm and were shattered for school the next day (he had his partner drop them to me for school). He is still being late (by hours) with his EOW pick ups and drop offs, regularly texts at very short notice to say he cant have them. I have addressed these issues several times with him and he sas all the right things but within a few weeks is back to his normal habits. This is all just to give an idea of how reliable he has been.
So he is due to have the DCs this weekend but texted yesterday to say he had to work and so he would collect them thursday and leave them off on friday morning for school. He then went on to say he wouldnt be able to have them for weekends anymore as his shifts have changed at work and that he will have to have them on weekdays.
Im really not happy about agreeing to this. Firstly i work, including weekends and have work arranged so that i can do EOW. The DCs go to a Childminder 3 days a week after school. I dont think it is fair that i should have to lose income and all my weekend evenings. Also i dont trust him to do their homeworks/reading etc with them, they are not taught in english an EXp doesnt speak the language they are taught in. DS2 also has a SALT and has activities to do each evening which i really cant see EXp sitting down and having the patience to do with him. I also have concerns about bedtimes on school nights, it isnt fair to them to be allowed up so late when school is the next day. I also suspect he will be true to form and cancel contact at the last minute, change days etc which will leave me up shit creek with childcare. He definitely wont pay the childminder for his days (i have to chase him every month for child support) and i cant change her days each week to suit him. I know he wont have them during the holidays for the full day of his contact, he will just expect to collect them in the evening meaning i will be paying the CMer for his childcare.
I am thinking of asking him to have them one night of each weekend rather than weekdays as i can forsee massive problems and disruption to us all. I know he'll probably just not turn up for the weekends but what options do i have?